Death Party • The Vampire Diaries

07.

| chapter seven: death and hugs |

Remorse is a funny thing, it's something that Nikolai has never experienced. He never felt remorseful for his actions even when he knows he's done wrong. He can watch a person bleed out drop for drop, him being the reason why and not feel anything.

When he was eight years old he tried to kill the neighbors son and almost succeeded. Their child was a true ungrateful brat and Nikolai thought no one would miss him anyways.
When twelve years old he found a dead body by the river. He didn't cry or scream in shock. He was calm and it didn't affect him at all, as it should affect a child. It was like he held no empathy. At the age of fifteen he had a fascination with knives and ended up stabbing himself, it was rather simple. He wanted to know if he would feel something. He didn't, except annoyance as his mother cried while wondering why he would do something so horrendous. At the age of seventeen he killed his father and god he enjoyed it. It was his first kill. Taking someone's life made him feel powerful and his father had deserved it, the bastard deserved to slowly bleed out and rot in hell. He didn't feel guilty or remorseful as he took his father's life in the brutal way he did. As the life left his eyes he felt like he'd done a
great accomplishment. When he walked out of his childhood home with blood covering his clothes, a wide smile on his lips and a knife still in his hand, he held nothing except pride.

As he killed lovers and drained them from blood he blamed it on them, fools to trust and fall for his manipulate ways. Women and men surrounded him, intrigued by his looks and charming smile. He loved it, humans are drawn to beautiful people, it doesn't matter if they're good or bad. They're blinded by beauty and it makes them naive and stupid. Nikolai never liked when they throw themselves at him, it's an easy hunt, a easy game he know he'll win. It's was a easy kill in other words.

People who had seen his true colors made up excuses, thinking he was beaten or made into the monster he is. But it's lies, all lies just to cover up the ugly truth. He grew up badly but he wasn't made, taking a hit or two didn't made him want to hurt people. It was the satisfaction, the pure feeling of it, the thrill.

Amelia Connors was just like him, they'd met about a century ago. Both loathed each other at first but then later on realized just how alike they where.
They worked together, luring in people and killing together. She was truly beautiful and unlike others, he didn't want to hurt her. Everything about Amelia was fascinating and although the two would never be in a relationship, his cold heart seemed to skip beats whenever he looked at her. He remember her smile and how she laughed, she was a vampire but even as dead she was so full of life.

Now she was gone and it hurt. Nikolai couldn't understand why he was hurting but the feeling wouldn't go away.
He didn't care for people but the thought of never seeing her, never holding her again was awful. He couldn't understand how a person could one day be here and then be gone.

If this was sadness, he didn't like it at all.
To feel was a burden and with a heavy heart he left the Salvatore mansion.

"Nikolai? Where are you going?" Elena asked as she walked up to the house, probably with the intention of seeing Damon or Stefan.

"Somewhere that's none of your business." He spoke and left.

He called Matt, him being the only one he wanted to talk to.

"I don't know what happened or who set this up but I am feeling, the sadness have gotten to me." He spoke. "What is wrong with me, I don't understand."

"What are you talking about Nik, did something happen?" Matt asked with worry in his voice.

"A friend of mine has died and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to cry! That's what you're supposed to do right, when someone dies?" Nikolai spoke.

"You can come over to my place and we can talk?" Matt asked softly. Nikolai didn't want to show vulnerability but he liked the idea of being with Matt. The stupid human was somehow comforting.

Moments later he was sitting on a small couch with a blanket wrapped around him. Matt came out of the kitchen with warm chocolate, Nik didn't understand how that would help but according to the blonde, it would.

"I know how much it hurts to loose someone and-"

"It's not hurting. I just feel weird, like something is wrong and it's my fault. I mean I was at a freaking dinner party when she died. I threw expensive food at Andie and watched Damon being a little bitch the whole night." Nikolai ranted and Matt watched him confusedly.

"Do you want me to hug you, I feel like I should hug you?" Matt was mumbling as he spoke and looked down at the blue mug in his hands.

"Hug? That's what you do to comfort someone right?" Nikolai asked and nodded for himself. He grabbed Matt and yanked him forwards into his arms and buried his head in his neck. Matt's breathing was shaky and Nik frowned.

"Am I suffocating you and giving you breathing problems or are you nervous?"

Matt chuckled and wrapped his arms around Nik, it was strange to have someone so close but it felt nice.
A loud ringtone ruined the whole moment and the two of them sighed. It was Stefan, Nik ignored the call and went back to the blonde's arms. He didn't want to be with anyone today, except Matt.

As the two laid on the small couch in each other's arms he felt calm, something he usually never felt.

| This is a shitty chapter but hey, I can't believe this story has reached 10k like holy shit! I didn't think anyone would like my stories so this makes me so happy. And don't worry guys, Klaus and Nikolai will soon meet. 

By the way who do you think is the little spoon? Matt or Nikolai?  - xoxo Maddie |