CheckMate (Completed)

Chapter 26

(Nattlie's pov)

I saw Isabella leave the room without looking back. It was just Leon, myself and my past left behind.

I wanted to tell him everything but how could I? Everything will be different after telling him. It always is. People say it won't but this is the reason I always get hurt in relationships. I date a guy for a while, and when I think he's a keeper and it's serious I tell him and one after the other it's the same story.

"Its not you its me"

"Why didn't you tell me you had problems before we started dating?"

"Maybe we should just be friends for a while"

"So in other words you still rich though right?"

"If you told me earlier maybe it would have been fine but now i cant trust you and a relationship without trust is dead"

Sometimes, which is my favourite of them all... they just disappear. Without saying a word, without even letting me know where I stand and to be honest it hurts the most. Every time hurting more and more leaving me to think that maybe just maybe there is something wrong with me instead. If there is... then it's best for me not to be with Leon. 

"Nattlie!" said Leon walking closer, "talk to me. I don't expect you to tell me every detail but at least say something" 

"No I want to tell you everything. I want to tell you why I pulled away and why I didn't say anything to you about me liking you before. I need you to understand why it wont last between us and that it is just a matter of time." I said blurting everything out.

Leon didn't move. It was now or never.

"It started when I was four when my dad left us. Mom said it was something to do with his work and I believed her, why wouldn't I? Two years later I saw him again at our local park but it's not what you think. I saw him with another women. A brunette. A week later a blonde. Another week later a blonde but she was different than the one before. I got the courage to walk up to him and see him. I stood in front of him without saying a word. It took him a while to realize its me. Now thinking back I'm sure he was drunk. He looked at me then asked me what I was doing there, I asked him what he meant and he told me that he heard we moved away. Turns out the real story was he cheated on my mom and left us to be with the mistress so he wouldn't get caught, he thought we left and moved on with our lives then he moved back thinking he would never have to face us again but in fact we just moved into a two room apartment a few roads from our old house."

"I'm sorry Nattlie" Leon said in a low voice. I stood there looking at nothing in particular. A tear moved down my check  and over my lips. I whipped my face without moving anything but my hand. Not a blink, not a twitch and hardly a breath.

"After I saw him the third time he came to our apartment that night. He knocked on the door and my mom answered. He walked in and saw me playing on the living room floor with me toy. My mom looked at me, closed the door and asked me to go to the room and turn my radio on. I did as I was told. About a hour later I could hear my mom crying so I open my door and stood there. My dad gestured for me to come closer. He asked me what I thought about the idea of them getting back together and like every child my age, I smiled and ran to my dad to give him a hug. Soon after we all moved back into a house. We were finally a family again. It lasted about a month. That's when he started to touch me in ways that made me feel uncomfortable. That went on for a few years, only getting worse over time. I don't really wanna  get into it but by the time I was twelve my mom divorced my dad and remarried with the man I call dad today. You know my mom tried to stop him a few times but he hurt her. I would try to help her but each time he hit me too. After I got the cut, by my eye, when my dad hit me and I fell on the floor hitting my head on the edge of a table, I stopped trying to help my mom. My dad now has been providing for us since. He even adopted me as his own daughter. The other guy that calls himself my dad... I haven't seen him since I was twelve and I don't want to ever again. I'm not interested. What he did to my mom and I is unforgiveable."

I burst into tears. Leon walked over to me and held me tight. I cried on his shoulder. I wanted the memories to disappear. He didn't say anything which is exactly what I need. I'm tired of people saying 'its fine' and that 'it will never happen again'. 

"Every time I like a guy I'll get close to him, I'll make a move like with you... I tried to kiss you before when you pulled away. That's what makes it hard. I look for a guys attention and when I get it I don't know what to do and tend to freak out at times like me pulling away and crying. But it's alright when you pulled away I got the message and when I pulled away that was me saving you. I knew you only did it because it was a 'in the moment' thing. I really like you ok! I can't have you being 'in the moment' while my feelings grow. I get my hopes up and I can see myself getting hurt in the end. Then what?"