Regret

{ Six }

It's been some times since I've become their friends, I think it has already been 4 to 5 months already? Damn, time does pass by fast. As the time pass, I started to have feelings towards Jungkook.

In the past months, Jungkook always come over on the weekends to hang out, sometimes even on the weekdays after school. I would say we both are pretty close right now, I think we're best friends now?

Our parents was really happy to see us get along so well. It's really cool when your parents know who your best friend is because when you need to go out with them, you'll just have to mention their names, and your parents will allow you to go out.

But I didn't want to be just 'Best Friends' with Jungkook, I had feelings towards him, and I wonder if he ever does. Even though I have feelings towards him, I've never told him about it, or to anyone else, because I was scared.

I kept it to myself for another few months, and the year had almost come to an end. "Looks like I'm still gonna be single even by the end of 2017." I said to myself. And well yeah, it was kinda true, because I was scared of rejection.

Rejection is a scary thing for me, because I always think that if I got rejected my someone once I confess, it would break the friendship between the two of us. Even if it doesn't, it just make everything so awkward. So now that I know, I'm keeping this to myself.

{ Present Time } [ The beginning of the story until now was the in the past fyi ]

I am now 19 years old, and of course, still single. I was waiting for Jungkook to confess to me, because I thought that he would also like me, until today.

Today we plan to meet each other at the cafe we use to go when we were still in high school, the one that was near our school. Everyone in BTS was there, and also Jungkook. But this time it was different, there was a new girl and she was sitting next to my best friend, Jungkook.

I saw them while I was about to enter the cafe, I was happy before but when I saw that girl sitting next to him, it gave me a bad feeling. I slowly pushed open the cafe door and the bell on the top of the door rang. Jimin was the first to notice that I have finally arrived.

"Soo Min-ah! Over here!" Jimin half yelled, and signaled me to sit beside him. I nodded and walked over beside him, then Jungkook only noticed me. He looked at me happily and I just gave a small smile.

Jimin helped me order my favorite drink which is Hot Chocolate, to be honest he knows me really well. 

I was still looking at Jungkook, he was talking more happily with the girl than he usually does to me. Then finally he spoke up. "Guys! I have an announcement to make! This is my.. Girlfriend!" 

At that moment, I felt like everything around me stopped. It felt like something crushed my whole heart. It was really hard for me to breath, and I felt tears threatening to escape my eyes. This feels more worse than rejection.

Everyone was cheering for Jungkook, and I was just sitting there looking down on my cup of hot chocolate. Jimin wasn't cheering with the others, because he was worried about me. "Are you okay Soo Min?" He said really soft beside my ears, as if he knows no one noticed I was at this state.

"Can we leave please, I can't stay here anymore." I said, trying hard to sound like nothing happened, but Jimin knows something is up. "Hey guys, me and Soo Min will leave first." Jimin stood up and said. While he finished his sentence, I stood up quickly and walked straight for the door, followed by Jimin.

We were sitting on a bench in a near by park. The sight of Jungkook being happy that he got a girlfriend keeps flashing through my mind, giving me a headache and heartache. "Soo Min? Is everything alright?" Jimin asked, once again.

I couldn't hold it any longer, I finally let the tear escape my eyes. I was really hurt, and I don't feel sad anymore. It feels more like numb, and somehow I knew that being numb was worse. I kept crying and crying, until I felt a warm embrace.

I hoped and wished it would be Jungkook, and for god sake I knew it couldn't be him, because he has a girlfriend. It was none other than Jimin, his embrace felt so warm and comforting, I felt safe in his arms. 

"It's okay, just cry it out, don't keep it to yourself. And you're going to tell me what happened after you are done crying, okay?" Jimin said as he caressed my hair. Since last year, Jimin had always been like this, If I was ever sad of something, he would make me tell him after I was done being sad. I nodded, still crying in his chest.

Sometimes when we are too busy chasing after what we want, we will never realize that what we actually need is always there by our sides.