eat {F.W.}

part 9

it's my first day of group therapy.

all 12 of us join together in the living room and talk about things that bother us and what we have accomplished.

lily was the therapist. late 20's, obviously a very lonely woman. no boyfriend, no kids, no family that i know of.

"okay rylee you're new here, so let's start with you. full name, age, disorder" she gave me a small smile.

i was huddled on one of the chairs, there was a a lot of space that allowed me to crisscross my legs.

my hoddie string was in between my lips and fingers.

i was wearing a hoddie and leggings, it made me look bigger until you look at my thin legs.

"uh my name is rylee rose holland, i'll be 16 in january, i have anorexia nervosa and bulimia."

i felt everyone's eyes on me, but i refused to look up.

before lily could reply finn cut in.

"why do you do that to yourself? ya know starve yourself?"

my head shot up, my eyes boarded into his.

"to be pretty."

"ok that's enough finn, rylee you're very pretty. i hope you understand beauty isn't based on your weight." lily commented "what did you overcome this week?"

i just gave a nod, she obviously doesn't understand how i feel about myself.

"uh nothing"

"nothing at all? you didn't make any new friends? or maybe ate a little something?"

i decided to lie. again. about eating.

"last night i ate some leftovers." i turned my head away from her, to signal i was done talking