eat {F.W.}

part 22

i don't sleep anymore.

i don't try to eat anymore.

i don't talk to finn anymore.

i don't want to be with finn anymore.

It's official.

emily and finn are together.

not that big of a deal.

anyways lately i quit trying to get better. there's just no point. finn used to be my point, i wanted to get better for him. but he's no longer here. with me.

he's wrapped up with emily, they do everything together. just like we used to.

group therapy is today. maybe it'll help a little.

i'm already seated, just waiting for everyone else.

my clothes have become more baggy, dark circles more prominent, lips crack more then ever, hair falling out more than usual, and no more period.

somehow destroying myself made me happy. i loved the control i have.

sometimes i smile at my transparent self in the mirror. a real smile.

everyone started pouring into the room, andy spoke to me.

"rylee are you feeling okay?" why wouldn't i feel okay?

"yeah, why?" he quickly straightened up.

"well, you just look a little life- tired. you just look tired." no. life less. i knew what he was gonna say.

emily was sitting on finn's lap. it didn't bother me.

lies.

i observed finn. he had a sharpe jawline, really frizzy curly hair, and deep brown eyes. i loved the way freckles scattered his face.

he could tell i was watching him, eyes soon met mine.

my eyes widened, and his jaw fell opened.

he looked me up and down.

not for long though, he had to look anyway.

he still had didn't think i was beautiful.