eat {F.W.}

part 15

today is group therapy, and i haven't been out of my room for 2 days.

everyone in the house is gossiping about me and finn's little outing. he doesn't talk to me to me anymore, i don't care.

i was stupid to think i could find a friend in a group home for mental illnesses.

i walked down to the living room, and took my seat in the chair.

i was shocked to see emily and finn sitting together, he smiled at her and they talked. well isn't this just great, first she wants to help me, and next she's friends or whatever with finn.

i looked at finn, he didn't look hurt. so why should I be? we are obviously toxic friends to eachother.

"okay guys, today i want to talk about our struggles and our back stories." lily clapped her hands. "so rylee, you've had a tough week so you should start."

everyone laughed and giggled, i looked at finn. this bitch was smirking.

"well so as everyone knows I am in highschool. when highschool began i started to really compare myself to the other girls and i didn't feel skinny. so i started trying to lose weight. i would work out constantly, even go on diets. nothing was working fast, so i figured out not eating was showing results fast and it was free."

"what struggles has this caused?" lily sat back and crossed her legs.

"well lily, i am constantly struggling with my health mentally and physically. But my struggles don't only include me. they include other people also. knowing i'm hurting my family sucks. i just can't help it, i have this image in my head, the way i want to look." i paused, "wanna know what else sucks? having people talk shit behind your back. yeah i'm talking to all you bitches." a glare makes its way on to my face, i look around at everyone.

i'm a hypocrite. i don't understand finn's anxiety. nor do i try. how can someone yell at you constantly but not be able to go into crowded places? i suck, but he does too. i'm selfish.

everyone was silent and looked shocked , "i chose lucas to go next" a big fake grin spread across my face.