Seventeen-17

Chapter Four

"I go to seek a Great Perhaps." - François Rabelais.

I tried my best to convince my dad that there's no need to go and see doctor for some tiredness. But I couldn't and he was so stubborn. There was no room to convince him again.

Me: Dad, please I don't want to.

Dad: Sweetie it's nothing. He's not going to inject you or anything.

Me: Dad, I'm not afraid from injection, OK. But this is too much. No need for this!

Dad: It's not too much, Sophie. We're going and that's final.

Me: UGGGGG!

I ended up going to see the freaking doctor. I wasn't in my best mood. I was frustrated. I sat on a chair in front the doctor and he asked me what's wrong with me and how I feel. When he asked I snapped for the first time saying 'nothing' then my dad looked at me, then I answered, politely. 

"It's OK. I know how she feels," The doctor say, smiling.

I can't deny that he's good looking and cute, but I don't like them anyway. He put his Stethoscope on my bare chest. It was so cold against my chest. He started listening to my heart's beats, then he moved it away.

"Give me your arm," Doctor said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Sophie sweetie, give him your arm. Don't worry," Dad said. I looked at him and he gave a small nod with a smile.

I took off my jacket and gave him my arm. He wanted to know my blood pressure. He started blowing this small balloon which was in his hand and the piece which was wrapped around my arm started to get bigger as he blows. He waited for a little while, then he moved it away from my arm.  

"You blood pressure is high," The doctor began to say.

"So?" I said.

"And your heart is beating so fast," He said.

"You know what? My heart is brating fast because you're annoying me. So, keep this for you," I snapped at him.

"Sophie. Stop," My dad said, looking at me.

I felt he was trying to find anything to prove that I was ill. Or to prove he's a good doctor, he must say that I have something wrong in my body. Bunch of stupids. 

"I want you to make these tests," The doctor said as he wrote on a paper. "I will see you two days from now," 

"In your dreams," I muttered.

"OK. Thanks doctor," Dad said. He took the paper and we went out from his room. We went after that to make the tests to be ready by tomorrow for the doctor who I'm going to see two days from now.

While we were in our car on our way to home, my dad kept telling me since when had I become that rude. I told him that I just hate doctors. They don't care about people's feelings and they always say the worst things ever. Like, if you're going to die, they do not give you hope, they'll tell you, 'you are sick and you're going to die so prepare for it' and even if you have cold they would make it as a big deal while you can stay at home with hot coffee and some rest and then you will be super good. That's why I hate them so freaking much!

After Two Days.

"Hello Sophie," The nameless doctor greeted us.

"Hi," I said even without looking at him.

My dad sat on a chair and I stood beside him. The doctor started looking at the tests and his face expressions weren't that good. They weren't saying good things but I didn't care. After a good while he took off his glasses and looked at my dad.

"Well, Mr Mills. She has Sickle-Cell Anemia," Without any introductions he said that.

"It's nothing right? Like it's not a big deal," I said. I studied this disease in my biology classes and it's a hereditary blood disorder. I knew what is it. But I said that in front of my dad to make everything OK. Like, there's nothing to worry about.

"Like, I just have to take Iron, Vitamin C and Vitamin B 12 to be good," I said, shrugging. 

"Actually. This disease is actually infects the red blood cells and they took the sickle shape. I want to tell you that this disease is also genetic. It must one of your parents have it," He said.

"It was in your mother," My father hissed.

I looked at him and his face was pale. My mother died because of a car accident not from this stupid disease. Then the doctor started to say something else.

"This disease has its side effects. Anemia can cause shortness of breath. A particularly serious complication of sickle cell disease is high blood pressure in the blood vessels that supply the lungs..." 

He kept saying medical things that I didn't want to hear but my dad was listening carefully. I turned myself to face the door, waiting the nameless doctor finishes whatever he was saying. I was trying not to listen to them. Then the doctor said something caught my attention.

"And it can also lead to death which is a very common thing," He said in his normal cold tone.

I turned back to him. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING!" I yelled. I yelled not because I have problem with death or I'm going to lose my life and die. I yelled because of my father. He cannot handle this. Why is that happening? He said like it was a normal thing. YAY! You're going to die. 

"Soph, honey. Calm down. It's OK." My dad said. I looked at him and saw that look. The look I still remember and cannot get it out of my mind. Fourteen years ago I saw this look when my mom had died.  It wasn't that easy for me to see this look again. I felt like someone was cutting and ripping my skin everywhere and I feel pain, much pain. But I can't do anything. I was paralyze to say stop for whoever was cutting me or even to cry or scream. That how I felt when I looked at my dad. 

I laughed small laugh as a tear dropped from one of my eye. I immediately wiped it and kept my gaze on my dad.  Because I never though I'm going to die. Never. But Like I said before Everything in this life can't be good as you wished. I cannot get everything in one row. 

I'm not going to growl about this and I'm not going to say anything about it or even cry. Even though I was dying to throw myself in my dad's lap and cry as much as I want. No one blames me or judges me.

My dad smiled the weakest smile I've ever seen on his face, then I reached to his hand. I grabbed his hand and made our way out from this miserable place. The doctor hasn't anything to say. He kept his mouth shut because that was the best for him. 

I turned back to face the doctor and said to him,

"Fuck you," 

We left the hospital. All the way home my dad didn't say a word neither me. But I tried to talk to him and make few silly jokes but he didn't laugh he just gave me weak smiles. I turned the radio on and there were really good songs. Like, always radio puts good songs when we reach home which was something always drives me crazy but there were really good songs. Then our favorite song came. I started singing it, loudly. I looked at my dad to sing along with me. He started whispering few words from the song lyric and nodding whenever I say, sing with me, dad.

This was the first time I felt winter was miserable for me. I've always loved Colorado winter but this time wasn't my best. Wasn't even the best day ever just like Sponge Bob's song. Mr Sun wasn't here and he wasn't smiling at me. I can't tell I was OK. with all of this, but I tried to take it easy as much as I could.

I hope you like it! Leave comments as much as you want :D. 

e.s