The Fault in Our Stars: Second Chances

IX

I couldn't stop crying. I had an everlasting hate for Dr. Hank and god.

How could he let this happen?

"Kaitlyn called again," Zander announced breaking a very long silence of words. "Maybe you should talk to her. She's hurting too. She needs you to be strong."

I took the phone and sniffled. More tears fled my eyes.

"Kaitlyn, I'm so, so sorry."

"Can I come over. I need to talk."

I could tell she was crying, it was just that obvious in her voice.

"Yes, my parents aren't home, it's just me and Zander."

"I'll be there in five."

"Okay, see you then."

Kaitlyn eventually hung up. 

I tried to hold in the tears, but I knew I couldn't. 

The door bell rang. It was her.

Zander immediately answered it. I left my hallowed out spot on the couch that was now covered in tears, and hugged Kaitlyn. 

"I know I shouldn't trouble you about this now, but I have to know. Isaac asked me something before he passed- when we were speaking on the phone." Nothing hit me harder than when I brought up that night. I almost fell to the ground. That was my last real conversation with Isaac, and all I did was yell and scream at him. Maybe this was my fault. I pushed him so hard not to go through with it that he felt more needy too.

I wiped my eyes and continued, "What would you have told me? He asked if you talked to me."

Kaitlyn prepared herself for the words she was about to say, "Isaac was having problems. Bad problems. Recurrence after recurrence. They thought they got all the cancer out, but it came back. He didn't have much time. The doctors gave him until Christmas, but he knew he wasn't going to make it that long. We talked about it, and thats when he looked into Dr. Hank. His one wish before he died was to see me; to see you. That's all he wanted." Tears poured out of Kaitlyns eyes. Her lips quivered and she stood still. "Hank alerted me about it before the procedure. Isaac had a very rare chance of surviving it, but that was his choice, okay? No one pushed him to do it, that's what he wanted. Understand this, Hazel, Isaac wanted to die this way. I don't blame him, he wouldv'e died a slow, painful death if he waited." 

I nodded, and reached out to hug her again. 

"I have some stuff for you, Isaac made himself very prepared for his death. He packed up everything and he wanted you to have it."

"Are you sure?"

"Never been more sure." She finally showed off her perfect smile although her face was completely red and swollen from crying.

I couldn't believe how well she was taking this all. When Gus died, I wanted to die with him. She was so strong. 

Zander spoke up, "I watched Isaac a lot in support group, he never failed to push throught the inevitable. I mean, he was blind. If I were blind, I wouldn't be going to support group, I would be drowning myself in pity. He was strong."

He wrapped his arms around my waist making me feel safe.

Kaitlyn made herself comfortable and took a seat on the couch. "I didn't want to tell you this, but I went back to Hanks office last night, and um... well, I got to go see Isaac again. His eyes were adjusted fine and he could see, very vaguely, but he could see. He was dying, I could see it all over is face. It was just a matter of time before he was completely gone. He told me someting," She froze. "He assured me that I was his always. And Hazel, I cried so hard. I wanted to be more. I needed more time with him. Life is too short. But I will never forget it."

My heart raced. "I wish you wouldn't have kept all this from me. Why couldn't you have told me?"

"Isaac was aware that if you knew he didn't have a good chance of surviving, you wouldn't have let him go through with the procedure, and that's what he wanted."

More tears fell from my face. 

"He wants you to stay strong, Hazel, he needs you to move on."

"I don't think I can. I just lost Augustus, now Isaac too? I don't want to move on."

Zander held my hand tight. 

"I wish I could stay, but I promised Isaac's mom that I would be over to help her with a few things. Call me if anything comes up, or if you need anything." Kaitlyn lifted herself up, wiped her eyes, and gave me a strong hug.

"Alexander, can you help me with these boxes?" She asked as she opened the front door.

He agreed and followed her out. 

Isaac had a lot of stuff, not only that, he had a lot of Gus' stuff. 

"What are you planning to do with all of this?" Zander asked as he put the last of seven boxes down on the living room floor. 

"I don't know, I don't even want to look at it right now." 

Right then, my parents returned home. They asked half of a million questions before they realized that something wasn't right. 

"You didn't hear?" I asked.

"What? What didn't we hear? Are you okay, Hazel?"

"Isaac lived his last night on earth tonight."

"Oh, Hazel, I am so sorry." Mom reached out for a hug. 

"It's fine. He's in a better place now. He's reunited with Augustus. He's happy."

She nodded. 

I wish I could be happy again.

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Ugh. Short chapter, but I needed a filler and a clear explanation of why Isaac died. 

Next chapter should be up soon, so please continue to read on :)