My Forever Home Book 1~COMPLETED~

Chapter 42 (Luke)

(So... You're getting two chapters on this story this week. Mainly so I can ask you guys to read the previous update on this about a Q/A... Ask questions towards them and stuff I know I have some ghosters out there and I love you for just reading my stories but I meannnn ask aquestion... I'm a ghoster too lol but I also know you guys have to have somwthing you want to ask me or one of the characters about this story... So dooo itttttt XD ok im done now enjoy!)

"What do we need to tall about?" I ask Ry as he drags me upstairs to our room. He held the back of the shirt down the entire time we walked up the stairs too, I would've snickered if I wasn't so against him being practically naked infront of everyone... Mine... Only mine.

"I'll tell you once I have at least some boxers on..." He says and I lean down and pick a pair up and hand them to him. "We really need to do laundry..." He says and takes them from me pulling them on as I look away.

"Okay, you have boxers on now, so tell me what we're talking about." I say as he sits down on the bed crisscrossing his legs. He messes with his finger as he bites his lip looking at me. "If you keep this up I'm going to kiss you..." I say and he smiles rolling his eyes at me.

"You're a dork..." He says and I smile at him.

"Your dork. Yes. Now what do we need to talk about?" I ask turning my body to face him making me put a leg on either side of him.

"We need to talk about... Us..." He says and everything Evan's ever said about conversations like these starts to run through my head. My eyes widen and he looks at me before giggling. "No. Nothing like what your thinking... Gah! Your face made it seem like I was about to break up with you if I hadn't already." He says and I glare at him playfully as he sticks his tongue out at me.

"So then before I start coming up with my own horrifying conclusions. What is it specifically about us, that we need to talk about?" I ask giving him a serious look.

"What Tyler said about you asking permission to touch me before you actually do..." He says looking away with a slight blush.

"What about it? We both said stupid stuff..." I say slightly confused as to where this conversation is headed.

"Yes, you both did, but that...was true. You do hesitate and look at me for permission before you actually touch me..." He says and I think about it some and the last time I touched him without hesitating was when we marked each other...

"Okay... So I look for permission first, its not a bad thing after what happened..." I say and he frowns at me slightly. "What Ry? I raped you and so now I'm trying to make sure I don't do anything you don't want me to." I say honestly looking him directly in the eyes.

"And I said I forgive you for it but you are still hesitant with me. I want my boyfriend not a pet who I have to call to give me attention and love." He says and I scoff.

"So I'm an animal now?" I ask and he puffs out his cheeks in frustration.

"Thats not what I meant, I was just trying to explain how I feel about it..." He says looking away from me with a pout. I know what he means, but he compared me to an animal... "I just want to walk into a room and be surprised with a hug from you. Not have you walk up to me with open arms and wait for me to close the gap and hug you." He says and I nod grabbing one of his hands and rubbing it with my thumb.

"Ok, but you have to understand that I don't know what you're thinking. So when you say this, I don't want to do it and then you pull away and look at me with fear. That is the last thing I ever want you to do. And I would prefer that ever to be a never..." I say and he nods.

"Its been months since it happened, why haven't we moved past it...?" He asks me looking down at our hands.

"Maybe because we haven't even talked about or acknowledged it... It doesn't just go away, I've been waiting for you to bring it up when you're ready..." I say and he nods looking back up and scooting closer to me some.

"Well then, lets talk about it. I want us to move past it." He says and I nod. "So...what first?" He asks and I shrug.

"Why didn't you tell me to stop once you realised you didn't want to?" I ask and he looks away from me.

"I was scared... I didn't think it would do anything to stop you..." He says and I sigh letting his hand go some.

"Ry, I would never hurt you. All you had to do was say stop and I would've..." I say and he nods his head slightly.

"A part of me knew that, but the scared part of me didn't believe it... The scared part always tells me to just run, run and never come back." He says looking at me with a fiercness in his eyes. "But I'm tired of running. I just want to be somewhere safe that I can call home. No more running..." He says and I nod.

"Ok. No running. You're strong now, no one can hurt you physically anymore..." I say and he gives a small smile nodding.

"True. When we were doing it, it didn't feel wrong. I was scared and no, I didn't want it, but it never felt wrong and with him, it did. It felt wrong in every way imaginable. Afterwards with him I would want to throw up and just disappear. With you all I wanted was to curl up and fall asleep. It's like even my brain and body was confused about it..." He says and I nod taking in everything he's saying.

"So then tell me. As soon as things go to far for you, tell me." I say and he nods. "I don't know wether to be happy it didn't feel wrong or to be sad that you still don't know how to feel about it..." I say looking at the blanket as we both sigh.

"This is difficult..." He says and I chuckle nodding.

"Yeah, it is, but we'll get through it. One day at a time."