Are you different?

New start with new attitude

So here I am, sitting and looking out of my window. Another year is starting and I don't like it. No. I hate it. Like absolutely. Again new school, new people and me, the weirdo new girl with no friends. I think that God hates me, not that I believe in God, but someone is ruining the time that supposed to be '' The best time of my life'' - high school. 

I even don't know why people hate me or don't like who I am. I am there for everyone, I help, I try to be friendly and every time when I hope that this time it is different- it isn't. This year is going to be my year and fuck them. I don't need some fake friends who will leave me for someone else or some crappy boyfriend. I even start to like when I am alone so I can finally be myself and do things that I really like, like photography and reading books. Yeah, I know I sound like a nerd, but I am not.

Last year is here and I know that my mom would have loved if I took all of this, so here it begins- me being bitchy, people not getting close to me and me not getting hurt.. again... 

I woke up 1h before I need to be at school to fill all the papers and start this year. So I am standing in front of the mirror and I try on my clothes. Noting seems to fit or good enough. 

Half of the hour later I am ready. I chose black jeans, white top, black cardigan and my favourites-white converse. Sad blue eyes looked back from the mirror when I tried to do something with my hair. I put my brown hair in a ponytail and took a final look in the mirror. I was sad again, my eyes didn't shine and my mood was shitty. Another year without my mom, only with dad, who didn't give a shit what I did, where I was or what am I going to do after high school. He only had time for his work and new wife. No time for me...

I was getting into the car that my dad bought me. I think that was because of guilt he was getting. He is always buying me stuff and he still thinks that I will be just fine with that. Reality is that I don't care anymore if he likes his new family more then me, so let it be. I pulled off from the driveway and started to sing along with The Neighbourhood.

There it I was- the new beginning, that I didn't want. My dad had to move because of this new wife of his and I don't have anyone else to stay with so I had to move with him and now I live with this woman, that I don't like and who doesn't like me. 

I was standing outside of school. It was so big and from the first look, I knew that it isn't going to be easy. Standing there started to get odd, so I picked myself up and walked through the doors.

There were so many people and I felt weird like I already knew that I won't fit in. Soon I finished watching around and started looking the teacher room so I could find my new class teacher and fill some papers. I was looking around when suddenly I bumped into someone and fell on my ass. God... That's just what I wanted.. it was definitely good first impression. When I started rising up I felt someone's hand under my armpit. I looked up and saw a guy with sunglasses on and black leather jacket. His hair was dark brown and looked like someone had just run a hand through them. 

'' I am so so sorry, I didn't see you.'' I apologized, voice shaking.
'' Yeah, yeah. Whatever,''  he said and walked away. 

''Good job All,'' I whispered to myself and walking along with others. 

I finally manage to find the teacher room and the one I was looking for. He seemed really sweet. He explained to me how things work there and what classes I should attend to. I filled the papers and because the first lesson was with him, we walked together to the class. We walked in and everybody was talking among. Great. They all knew each other and I didn't know anyone. Teacher couched and the whole class turned their heads to us. Oh my god. This is going to be awkward.