Chapter 8

168 15 6

by SluttyIrwin

by SluttyIrwin

A/n: yep I was lying when I said I'd update a day later lol hi sorry here's a shitty chapter from a shitty person waddup bitch

SHOUTOUT TO ANNIE BC WITHOUT HER I'D LIKE NEVER UPDATE BC I'M HORRIBLE

(I ALSO DECIDED THAT THINGS ARE GONNA ESCALATE V FAST BC FILLER CHAPTERS ARE BORING AS FUCK AND I HATE WRITING THEM SO SHITS GONNA START HITTING THE FAN KK)

Luke's POV

Dear whoever is unfortunate enough to pick this up,

I'm dead by now, if all goes well, my name is Luke Hemmings you probably haven't heard of me. Nobody really cares about me which is part of the reason why I'm hopefully dead right now.

You see, I love this boy, his name is Ashton Fletcher Irwin and sunshine and happiness had a one night stand and he was created. He is my sunshine; his smile, even when it's not at me, makes my heart jump into my throat and butterflies erupt not in my stomach, his smile is too beautiful for that, his smile causes butterflies to invade every cell in my body from my ugly face to my scarred thighs. He is the only thing that keeps my broken soul together, he is the glue that holds together my shattered pieces, and he didn't even know it until two days ago.

You see this prick at our school tried to hurt him and I protected him, like anyone would if you saw the actual reincarnation of the sun being attacked, and the guy broke my jaw. In the hospital I was loopy from the drugs they gave me and I ended up saying everything I thought, which if you ever have the misfortune of looking in my head it's a dangerous place.

I told him everything, I told him how I loved him so much and how I hated myself for it because he's hung up on this bitch Katrina that could never be worthy of even being on the same planet as Ashton. I made him feel guilty and it's all my fault, after I fell asleep Ashton tried to kill himself. It was all my fault, if I hadn't told him anything I could have killed myself like I was planning too anyways but it never would have affected him. He would have heard about it during the morning announcments at school, maybe frowned a bit, and then continued lighting up the entire world like normal.

But now, Ashton Fletcher Sunshine Irwin is in a hospital and I'm still alive, when he should be fine and I should be dead. I've decided to fix the second part and that's the purpose of this note, and Ashton if it's you who's reading this.

I love you, nothing will ever take that away, not my death and none of this is your fault, it's mine. I shouldn't have told you anything I caused you pain when you already had far too much and I'm so sorry. As a 17 year old boy's dying wish, please forgive me? I'm so sorry Ashton I'm so fucking sorry I was never good enough to exist in the same world as you, and I finally get your attention and I fuck it up so much you almost die.

I'm sorry I'm so worthless and that I dragged you down to, you deserve so much more than I, or the world, could ever offer you and I'm sorry I wasted your time and your pain, it was never mine to fuck up.

I love you Ashton Irwin, you are my sunshine, and I'm just the dark cloud that eclipses your perfection. Well I'm gone now and I hope you can shine on now that I'm not arround to bring you down.

Goodbye Ashton, thank you for keeping me together for so long.

I love you,

Goodbye.

Tears were flooding down my ugly face as I folded the letter up and placed it on my dining room table, running down the hall into my mom's bathroom I found the bottle of sleeping pills that she has when she gets insomnia. Emptying out around 50 pills I hesitated one last time as I brought my hand to my mouth, looking at my reflection in the mirror I could hardly recognise the mess I had become. My hair was flat and slick against my forhead from my smeared tears that covered most of my face. My eyes were sunken and a dull, lifeless grey, with racoon like dark circles underneath. My acne was worse from the stress of being responsible for Ashton's pain causing an enourmous breakout. I looked disgusting, and it couldn't be more fitting. How is this piece of shit looking back at me ever going to be more than a worthless waste of space.

It wasn't I thought and I looked my dead reflection right in the eyes as I downed as many of the pills as I could, taking a drink of water to wash them down. Rubbing my tired red eyes I felt the affect of the pills almost immidiately as my legs turned to jello and I collapsed on the floor, as I did a need overtook me.

I need to see Ashton was all I could think, he was the sunshine of my life, and I at least deserved a sunset as I died.

Picking myself up off the floor I stumbled weakly out of my house and got in my car, I tried to focus as much as I could of staying in control of my body as I started the car and started driving to the hospital.

Sunshine sunshine sunshine I thought as I drove and started feeling a deadly drowsiness infect my body like Ashton had with his sunshine.

Ashton.

I need Ashton.

A/n: well that escalated quickly just as I had planned and yeah FIX YOU BY COLDPLAY CAME ON WHILE I WAS WRITING THE NOTE AND I STARTED BALLING MY EYES OUT LUKEY NO AAAAHHH

OKAY I'M GONNA TRY TO UPDATE SOON AND I REALIZE THAT THERE'S ONLY BEEN LIKE 8 REAL CHAPTERS SO FAR INCLUDING THIS BUT THERE'S ONLY GONNA 2 MORE SO A 10 CHAPTER BOOK OK THAT FEELS SHORT.

That's mainly because I hate filler chapters and me and Annie, well mostly me but whatever, came up with this brilliant outcome for the story and I needed to get to it quickly and I can't write out like 20 more chapters I'd explode and they'd all be hella boring so yeah

2 MORE CHAPTERS AND YOU'RE GONNA CRY IN BOTH I HOPE

I know I did :'(

FIX YOU JUST CAME ON AGAIN FUCKITY FUCK I'M CRYING PEACE OUT GIRL SCOUT

(hey can we get to 1k reads before the end of the story that would be v cool and it might dry my tears a little bit)

"WHEN YOU'RE TOO IN LOVE TO LET IT GO" FUCKITY FUCKITY FUCK I'M OUT I'M GONNA GO JUMP OUT A WINDOW BYYEEEE