Double-Crossed (An Irwin Twins fanfic)

Chapter 9

A/n: Okay I'm gonna try to make this a decently long chapter because it's the last one :) well there's going to be an epilogue but that's basically just gonna be the twist so this is the climax or the story and i'm gonna work on it for a while and make it good ok...

I'm sorry if you cry I certainly will the playlist I made for writing this chapter has sooooo much Coldplay it's really making things worse but I love the pain at the same time lol....

Anyways enjoy and don't be afraid to cry with me :)

and again this is dedicated to Annie who is the illest bitch and keeps me writing bc I'd rather sleep than cry over fictional Lashton lol

Ashton's POV 

Looking out the window I noticed the dark clouds of a thunderstorm rolling in, it reminded me of when I was in the library three days ago looking out the window. 

That was the day everything changed, strange to think that it was only three days ago that I was pining over Katrina. Now I'm in a hospital and I try to rip out my IV every half hour because I can't handle the guilt of being responsible for Luke's pain.

I knew it was bad for me but I just wanted to see Luke again, and make everything right. I will never forgive myself for what I did to him but maybe I could somehow try and make it up to him. 

I sat there for a few more minutes thinking about how I could ever make it up to Luke, and thinking also of how hard I'd try to make sure he never feels upset again.

I was ripped from my mind by a bright flash outside, and a few seconds later there was a booming clap of thunder. The storm was getting closer and looked pretty powerful, and I wondered if it would scare Luke. As I did I made it my new mission to comfort Luke if he was ever scared, and do whatever I possibly could to fix whatever was making him scared.

Well, maybe I couldn't control the weather, but I could kiss his soft hair as I cuddled him closely and whispered in his ear that everything was gonna be alright, and that he never has to be afraid of anything as long as he's with me.

Just then the man of my dreams and the puppetmaster of my worst demons burst into the room.

I opened my mouth to speak but before I could Luke beat me to it and started talking, his voice worryingly strained and he looked like he had been dragged through hell (that being said he still looked perfect to Ashton),

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin, you fucking listen here. I am so fucking sorry you ever had to meet me, that I got in your way and that I screwed up your life because you deserve to smile every single second of every day for the rest of your life and the world doesn't deserve that smile, especially not me. Because Ashton, your smile is more brilliant than any ray of sun and your laugh held my broken pieces together for so long. Your perfection silenced my old demons, but gave megaphones to new ones because I know that I will never be good enough for someone like you, and my brain really wanted me to know that. It isn't your fault at all, it's mine for being such a fuck up and I'm so sorry because I fucked up even more and dragged you into this and made you hurt yourself because you felt guilty for something that was my fucking fault. I was actually planning on killing myself tomorrow before this whole thing, and that's how it should have gone. I would have been dead and gone and out of everyone's way, and you could continue shining without even more scars on your arms that I put there. Well I guess I'm trying to fix that now"