Since I Don't Have You (Guns N' Roses - Duff McKagan)

Chapter One

THIS IS JUST A WARNING - THIS BOOK IS BEING REWRITTEN! SO SORRY FOR ANY CONFUSION IF YOU READ PASS WHERE I'M UP TO 😂

Gazing out of my apartment window, I couldn't help but smile. I was back in Los Angeles for the first time in over two years, the last time I was here was for the birth of Alison and Izzy's children. They ended up having twins, a girl and a boy named Sasha and Dominic. I probably spent a week at most with them, as I helped them around the house whilst Alison was healing. She had a natural birth, but she could barely walk after pushing out the two kids. So that was fine, it gave me a chance to spend time with them again and catch up on everything that has happened.

Standing there for a moment longer, I raced away and over to the bench to grab my purse and keys to my bike. Since being in Los Angeles last, I hadn't changed all too much, well appearance wise, mentally, I wasn't as chatty as I used to be (even as I was shy). I had been burnt too many times, so I always had the fear of being hurt again. Guess it took two guys to hurt me for that to happen. Andy scarred me, but Duff? He wasn't someone I got over, even years on. I was far from over him, but I didn't tell anyone that. What was I to say? I was not over a guy who I was engaged to get married to, despite he hurt me really bad and ended up cheating on me. I mean, I bet any other woman would be over him, if anything, very bitter, but I wasn't. I obviously didn't think of how happy I was that it all happened, but I didn't hate him, it probably would have been easier if I did. But from what I went through, to leaving someone I loved, it effected me bad. It still kind of did. I had to get on medication to help me sleep, which did wonders. I had pretty much gotten to the point of not needing that medication, but still needed a hit every now and again. Exiting my room, I jogged down the stairs excitedly, pushed open the doors to my apartment building and walked over to my bike parked in my allocated parking space. I had shipped my Harley all the way from Gove to Los Angeles and had it all registered and ready to rumble. Was it cheap? Far from it. And this time around, I was staying in America permanently. I was working towards becoming a permanent resident, or citizen. Which in itself was really exciting, especially since I had my work as my sponsor. I was back only because I missed the life all too much and I really missed my old friends. Took me over two years to figure that out, but hey I was back.

Sitting down onto my bike and strapping my helmet onto my head, I placed the keys into the ignition of my bike. Unlocking it, I pulled the keys back out and shoved them into the pocket of my denim shorts. I was ready to go for a little ride, explore Los Angeles again, maybe buzz by the old house to see if there was any change and whatever else I decided to do. With the clutch held in, I kicked the foot lever into first gear and rode out onto the busy road. Butterflies had automatically filled my stomach as it had been a long time that I had driven on the roads around here. Since before I moved back here, I had been living in both Gove and Brisbane - a bit of Switzerland. It made it easier doing it that way, the transitioning to single life and just having my family by my side every step of the way, I was thankful. They had been really good for the entire period! My family knew that Duff and I had split up, but I never really said why. I didn't want to talk about it and I knew if I did, my brothers would go hunting.

The wind blew against my face, clearing my head. This was what I loved about being on a bike, no worries to hold you down, at least not while you were moving. Unfortunately as soon as that engine shut off, that's when everything would come back to haunt me, but between the lines of the lane and during the time of having fuel, I was in ectasy and I was happy. Starting my adventure by riding by the old house, I slowly drove by and looked for any changes. I had no idea if any of the guys still lived there, or whether they had all moved on. Last I heard, Axl was living there, but that was years ago. The difference in the place? It looked like it had been looked after, the garden out the front had some trees growing and by the door there were a few pot plants - literally. The house probably was sold, as a newer dark blue mustang sat in the driveway and I didn't feel very comfortable on just knocking to find out. Speeding off, I turned around with the use of the next driveway and flew back pass. I was going to see if I could surprise someone. Or some people. Alison and Izzy still lived here in Los Angeles, but instead of being at their old apartment, they had a beautiful house in a quiet estate. It suited them too. Modern house, plenty of space and it even hard a yard and recording studio!