Since I Don't Have You (Guns N' Roses - Duff McKagan)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Like Duff agreed to, within the hour we had all went up for a drive to see the Hollywood sign. Lucky for myself and my brothers, Duff had driven his black Corvette over to the apartment, so there was no worry of not being able room to fit everyone in my car. To my surprise though, Mick actually joined Duff in the Corvette, willingly. I couldn't say it didn't give me anxiety, just thinking that a fight could have broken out between them; I assumed that Mick knew better then to start something while driving. Which thankfully he did know better.

"This is pretty awesome." Xander notes as we all separately wandered around the huge Hollywood sign. "The view and the sign." Xander stopped, placed his hands on his hips and stared out at the view of down town.

"You know, Duff took me on a date here once." I smiled, staring out at the city.

"Not a bad date, I'll give him that." Xander shrugged his shoulders, seeming half impressed. "What's the go with you and him anyway? Why was he going off on Slash?" Asked Xander, being weary that Duff could be close by. Luckily, we were down one end of the Hollywood sign and Duff was up the other end with Dan.

"Cause Slash told him that he kissed me." I answered. "And that I wanted him to and kissed him back."

Xander's eyes almost bulged out of his head. "That's very bold of him."

"Yeah, you're telling me." I nodded.

"Was Slash talking shit?" Xander's dark eyes flicker to me and back over to the view.

I let out a small sigh. "Not entirely." I rested my hands into my pockets.

Xander was even more surprised. "But you and Duff are meant to be getting together again, that's why he's doing those drug tests isn't it? Why would you be kissing curly?"

My face went bright red. "Because he kissed me."

"Fuck." Xander chuckled. "We are all meant to be a little hard on the guy, since what he put you through and all. But hearing that, the blokes got it tough." Xander frowned. "He would do anything for you. Going cold turkey by getting off the gear and doing those drug tests. He's not doing it for anyone else, he's only doing that for your sake." He explains. "He's still bloody trying with us, if he didn't mean what he said he wouldn't even be doing that. And while he's trying to do all of that, you are hooking up with his best mate. Bit harsh, Shell. I never thought you'd have it in you to do that to him."

"I'm not hooking up with Slash." I state.

"Well obviously you are, otherwise you wouldn't be locking lips with him."

"Again, he kissed me. I didn't initiate anything." I argued, not that it made me feel any better.

"You clearly didn't stop it either." Xander quickly replied. He wasn't wrong there and I took that verbal hit.

"I know." I nodded, staring down at my feet in guilt.

"There was once a time you would do anything for that man, you basically kissed the ground he walked on and now you don't know what the fuck you want? For what he did to you, yeah I guess I don't blame you, but he's trying. You gotta give him credit where it's due." Xander reaches out and slings his arm around my shoulders. "I love you sis, but you need to get your priorities straight. You either want to be with that man, who loves you like crazy, or root his best mate. If I was you, I'd pick the guy who is in it for the long haul."

"And this is coming from you, who told me I should kiss them all and have sex with them all." I stared at Xander dumbfounded. "Make up your mind."

Xander chuckled. "Yeah, you got me there." He nodded. "What is it with you and Slash? Just a fling or do you want more?"