Since I Don't Have You (Guns N' Roses - Duff McKagan)

Chapter Twelve

'We don't need no education,
We don't need no thought control,
No dark sarcasm in the classroom,
Teacher, leave them kids alone,
Hey teacher, leave the kids alone.'

The radio roared throughout the workshop. The whole day had ripped by and it was coming on the last ten minutes of my shift where I was simply cleaning up and putting my tools away. When I showed up to work looking like I did with a beaten up face, I had Bobby and Jason fretting over me, worrying their heads off. Because let's face it, I wasn't a pretty sight. Not with the deep black bruising and still some swelling. So I had an entire interrogation by both of them, where they threatened to call the police to report an assault, because I lied and said a stranger did it to me when I was walking home.

Thankfully, the pair of them listened and didn't go any further with it, or go on about it. But I knew they were concerned, they treated me like a princess for the entire day. It was nice, but it also drove me nuts. I wasn't a princess, I didn't need to be treated like one either. So I eventually told them to fuck off and leave me alone, which they got the hint immediately. Sweeping the floors, I continued to pay attention to the radio as Another Brick In The Wall finished. The next song started instantly and I couldn't say I was familiar with it. But the voice? I knew that voice, more than anyone else.

'It's been four months since,
You gone away,
My bed is empty and my heart,
Still feels the pain yeah the pain,'

I instantly had to sit down and listen, just so I could concentrate on the lyrics that flew out of Duff's mouth.

'I see your picture in a magazine,
I look away still see you starin' at me,
At me,'

I was in pure shock listening to it. Was this song about me? Did Duff write this about us splitting up? I didn't even know he brought out an album, let alone this song.

'I walk the streets at night,
And there's no one else in my sight,
But you,
In my mind,'

My eyes began to slowly fill of tears, I couldn't believe it. This song had to of been written about me, unless he had a secret girlfriend during the time we were apart.

'Cause I still love you,
Yeah I still love you,
I,'

Since Izzy had dropped me off that day of the fight, I hadn't seen or heard from Duff. I wasn't overly concerned, as he was a complete mess and he probably couldn't even lay eyes on me, so I didn't mind. I also hadn't seen Gilby or Izzy since then either.

'Buy a ticket to a subway train,
A one-way token just to end my pain,
From you yeah from you,
Ticket says destination unknown,
The car stops and I'm back at home,
All alone,
Without you without you,'

I didn't know what to take of the song, whether to swoon or cry my eyes out. It was difficult, I hadn't ever felt this way before. I don't think I had been sure of having a song written about me either.

'I walk the streets at night,
And there's no one else in my,
Sight but you,
In my mind,'

Suddenly the phone began to ring and I couldn't help but let out a groan. Even as some tears snuck out of my eyes, I was taking the moment to enjoy the song. Even if it was upsetting, he still loved me. That was all I was focusing on.

'Cause I still love you,
Yeah I still love you,
I,'

As much as I wanted to listen to the remaining song, I had to turn it down and answer it. As both Bobby and Jason were gone and I was left to close the shop. I didn't mind doing it, but that meant I had to answer every phone call.