I'm All In. *•[A Panic! X reader]•*

11

**warning, this chapter contains certain descriptions of depression. It could be potentially triggering or harmful to certain readers so please read at your own risk.**

"Wait!"——
__________
(Y/N) POV
••••••••••
It was too late. I changed my mind. I wanted to go. I wanted to be their opener but thy didn't hear me. They began to drive away, without me. I knew I had made a mistake. I had the opportunity of a lifetime and I turned it down. I ruined any chance I had at getting out of this god forsaken, boring life. I silent tear fell down my cheek. I had to say goodbye to them and I completely ruined this for myself. I went back home, crawled into bed and just sat there. I knew what this was. My depression. Creeping back up on me. Depression is often misconceived as just sadness. Depression is so much more than that. It's a lack of motivation, happiness, reason. It's apathy. A lack of feeling. You feel numb almost. This happens to me sometimes. Certain things can trigger it or sometimes it just creeps up out of nowhere. If you've never felt it, it is almost impossible to describe it to you. I sat in bed, lost in thought. Not knowing what to do with myself. I stayed like that for hours upon hours. I was supposed to go into work the next day but instead I grabbed my phone and texted Stan to tell him I wasn't feeling well. I wasn't hungry. My appetite was completely gone. I heard my phone go off a couple of times but I paid no mind to it. I grabbed my journal and documented how I was feeling. That was one of my ways of coping with it. Writing down my feelings just soothes me I guess. I tried to sleep it off but my mind wouldn't rest. I kept thinking, letting my mind wonder...

Dallon POV
•••••••••
"Wait!"
I heard (Y/N)'s voice ring out.

"Guys! Stop the bus! (Y/N) just yelled for us to wait!" I tried to tell Brendon and the driver.

Nobody paid me any mind, as usual.

"Guys, for real."

"I didn't hear anything" the driver said.

"Dude, I get it. I want her here too but we gotta let this one go. She turned down the offer." Brendon said sadly, yet matter-of-factly.

"I'm not making this up. What if she changed her mind?!"

Brendon just patted my shoulder and walked away.

What are we going to do?

~time skip brought to you by cheese whiz~

We discussed it and we were going to hold online auditions for our opener. After meeting (Y/N) we wanted to give the spot to a talented musician who hadn't been discovered yet. We wanted to give someone a chance at their dream.

Brendon and I posted it on our all of our socials.

"Hey guys listen up! We are holding online auditions to open for Panic! On the rest of our tour! All you have to do is upload a video and share it on Twitter or Facebook and tag us in it! Good luck! We can't wait to hear how talented you guys are!"

We also posted it on the Panic! Accounts.

I was actually excited for this. It gave us a chance to change someone's life, and something about that was very rewarding.

Brendon POV
••••••••••
I was bummed that (Y/N) wouldn't be joining us but we still had a chance at changing someone else's life. We were already starting to get submissions. There were so many talented people out there. It made me wonder why I was lucky enough to be doing all of this instead of these people. Even with all of this talent though, none of them even touched (Y/N)s raw, undeniable talent. She didn't even have to try. It just flowed off of her fingers and her tongue. I wish she were here. I shook that thought out of my head and continued watching submissions. After all, she made the decision and I had to respect that.

(Y/N) POV
••••••••••
As I was getting ready for work a few days later, I got a notification on my phone. Twitter. From Brendon, Dallon, and the Panic! Account.

"Hey guys listen up! We are holding online auditions to open for Panic! On the rest of our tour! All you have to do is upload a video and share it on Twitter or Facebook and tag us in it! Good luck! We can't wait to hear how talented you guys are!"

Immediately a smile wiped across my face and a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I knew what I would be doing after work tonight... I may have actually gotten a second chance...

•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.
A/N
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to take this long to update. I have been dealing with some shit and I know that's not much of an excuse but it's all I've got. Homework has also been taking over a large part of my life. But here ya go! I hope you enjoyed. Anyways, Bye!

*i also apologize for how short this chapter is.*