Self-Conscious

chap·ter 5

Laila

"Okay, so I need you guys to break into partners for this next class activity." Mrs. Robinson said gathering some papers from her desk to hand out.

Getting up from my sit I began to go find me my partner for this class. Just because Tyrone is here doesn't mean that I stop doing what I normally do. In this class I already have a partner, her name is Rose.

As i was about to move, Tyrone grabbed my wrist.

"You have to be my partner."

"I don't have to be nothing but black and die. Now let go of me. I have a partner and she's waiting for me." I said nodding my head over to Rose who smiled at me and I smiled back.

"But i don't know anyone else and I want to get to know you"

"That sounds like a personal problem. I suggest you go and make some friends" I said snatching my wrist from him.

"Are you two partners?" Mrs. Robinson asked approaching our table.

"No"

"Yes"

"I already have a partner Mrs. Robinson, it's Rose she's waiting on me. So can I pease have a paper and go over there" I asked.

She looked at Rose and then at me and gave me a paper and began telling Tyrone who he can partner with and just explaining the course to him.

"Thought you forgot about me" Rose laughed as i took a seat across from her.

"Child please, I couldn't get over here quicker enough" I laughed.

Rose was a good friend of mine. Really and truly one of my only ones. I let my guard down when it came to her. It was just something about her that I knew would allow me to trust her.

We met freshmen year, her and I shared the same art class. She hated it just as much as I did. We would constantly complain about the teacher at the table and completely block out the class itself. Soon enough we would literally come to the class only to be each other's entertainment. Ever since then we just had this bond.

"Quick enough my ass, I saw that smirk he gave you when he walked in this class. You ain't telling me something." She said completely pushing the work and her notebook to the side.

"Who Tyrone? Ain't nothing to tell." I said.

"There needs to be. He cute as hell. You need to give it a shot or I will"

"It's more to life than looks. If you want him go and shoot your shot." 

I'm not about to swoon over someone I just met. I might be big but I'm not desperate that the first guy who spits his game I'm going to automatically fall for his every words.

I will not ever understand why people assume that. Are big people not supposed to have standards as well, or are we supposed to be lucky to get any attention from anyone? That's ultimate bullshit. If I was skinny and I said I had standards and respect for myself it would be all find and dandy but because I'm not I got to get while the gettin is good. Whoever thinks like that can kiss my FAT ass.

After that the rest of the class time went on by and Rose and I just talked about random topics as we completed the worksheet. By the time we was done the class was over.

"All of you turn in the papers as you walkout the class if you want credit for the day" Mrs. Robinson said.

"Malachi got practice today?" Rose asked me while packing up her bags.

"Mhmm" I nodded.

"Need a ride?" She offered as we both gave in our papers and walked out the room.

"No I gotta go finish a test. You can go on ahead on home girl."

"Damn sis, want me to wait?"

"Nah I'll catch the bus. Go on I'll text you later" I smiled.

We said out goodbyes and I made my way to my locker. I might as well get my belongings. I'm trying to be in and out. No time to waste.

After about an extra 25-30 minutes I was finished. I probably still failed but in this moment I did not care. My day was officially done and I was free from this hell hole.

Walking towards the front door of the building I passed the gym seeing the basketball team doing they drills and of course Malachi was leading it all. I swear when you see him play you can actually say that he was meant for it. This was his destiny.

Snapping me out of everything I heard my ding as it alerted me that I had just missed the bus I was plan on taking and another one wasn't due until 37 mins.

"Shit" I mumbled to myself.

I still had zero intentions on waiting on Malachi to be done with his practice. That could of be another 3 hours from now  and I was not sitting here for that long. Going to the Uber app I just got me an UberPool to take me home. It was only $11.36 so that wasn't bad.

Going outside of the school building I waited the estimated time for it to arrive. When it came I got in and there was already someone in the front seat so I just went to the back. Soon enough it was my stop and I got it after being polite and saying thank you and have a nice day. You never know how much those simple words can mean to someone that day.

Getting my keys out my bag I walked up to the door and opened it.

"I'M HOME" I yelled throughout.

Usually I would get a respond but today it was empty. Wasn't a person in the house but me. So I took this quite opportunity to get a wonderful after school nap in.