Road To Jannah

Chapter 5

"Your imaan will fluctuate throughout your life. Remember to keep trying."

______

Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. (Surely to Allah we belong and to him we shall return)." mumbled his quivering lips.

He sat there thinking about the new born child which took his last breath before he could see this world.

A comforting hand crept from behind Ahmad and landed on his shoulder. Ahmad turned to see Ahmish beside him and before he could utter a word of grief, Ahmish embraced Ahmad and sighed while rubbing his back.

"Come sit here." he said and Ahmad sat there covering the face with his hands.

"I wish we would have visited the doctor earlier."

"You know everything is decreed by the will of Allah, and whatever happened, happened according to Allah's qadr. Don't blame yourself about it, no matter how much you would have tried, it would have happened by Allah's will. This is what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade when he said, “If anything happens to you, do not say, ‘If only I had done such and such, then such and such would have happened.’ Say instead, ‘Qaddar Allaah wa maa sha’a kaan (Allaah decreed and what He wills happens), for ‘If only’ opens the door to the Shaytaan”, i.e., it makes you vulnerable to grief and fear, which is harmful to you and is of no benefit. Know that whatever befalls you, you could not have avoided, and whatever does not happen to you, you could not have made it happen to you, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“No calamity befalls, but by the Leave [i.e. Decision and Qadar (Divine Preordainments)] of Allaah, and whosoever believes in Allaah, He guides his heart” [al-Taghaabun 64:11]"

After realizing his mistake and uttering a few words of regret towards Allah, Ahmad wiped out his tears which blurred the vision of his eyes.

"If you'll be in such a state then how will we handle Ayesha?" Ahmish said as he pressed his hand against his forehead.

"That's exactly what I am tensed about. Whenever she thought of a baby boy, her face would beam like a radiant star but now when her thought will strike about the baby boy, the radiant star will break loosing it's radiance ."

____

"Ammi."

"Hmm?" said the mother as she ran her hands through the soft hair of Abdullah whose head was resting on her mother's lap.

"When I feel so bad about it, how appi would be feeling?" said Abdullah with eyes full of tears.

"This is what we call life, we loose something or the other at the point of our life which is beloved to us but doesn't those beloved things belongs to Allah? Sometimes He takes away his things as soon as He grants us but there is indeed glad tidings for those who are patient. So be patient my dear child and may Allah grant patience to my daughter whose going through one of the biggest calamities." said that mother as a tear escaped her eye.

Abdullah looked up wiping his tears and followed by wiping his mother's tears. He wasn't in a state to handle himself, he needed a support of a warm hand and the words of her mother was indeed soothing. The mother was strong spiritually but was turning weak physically. The growth of maturity make us proud to have parents with strong spiritual boundaries but the worst thing about it is to witness our parents turning old and weak. Abdullah made her mother sleep and promised to take her to Ayesha by the setting of the sun as she was not well and was in a state to rest.

Shirana took care of all the kids and giving answers to their questions at every minute was hard. Abdullah headed towards the hospital as it was time for the burial of the dead body of the little one. Indeed the smallest coffins are the heaviest ones.