•LEGACY - A Reylo Story•

EPISODE LXVII - LULLABY

Six months later...

Ben's eyes snap open to the sound of his daughter screaming.

"I'll get her," Rey mumbles from beside him. The room is pitch black, informing Ben they couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour or two.

"Padmé," Rey croons, cradling the baby to her chest. "Shh, shh, sweetheart. It's okay." She slips back onto the bed, bouncing the child, who only screws up her face and cries all the harder. For the third night in a row, Ben doubts they'll be getting any sleep.

Padmé's been an easy baby for the first six months. Far easier than you, his mother had told him, rolling her eyes. For the past week, though, neither of them can get her to stop crying.

"Are you hungry?" Rey asks, warming up a bottle. Heat floods Ben as he watches his wife try to coax their daughter into eating. Except, Padmé's having none of it.

"She doesn't need to be changed?"

"No, I checked." Rey rocks her daughter back and forth. "It'll be all right. It'll be all right." Her voice trembles, and in the dim light Ben switches on, he can see fatigue dragging down the skin under Rey's eyes.

"Stay here," Ben says. "I'll take her for a walk."

Sometimes, when he had nightmares as a toddler, his father used to take him for a walk outside, if they were on a planet, or up to the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon if they were flying, where Ben could watch the stars and rest his head against his father's chest, curling up in his arms or on his lap, listen to his beating heart.

The heart Ben himself stopped.

Stop.

"Are you sure?" Rey bites her lip.

"I'm sure." Ben presses his hand against Rey's face, feeling the softness of her cheek with his thumb. "Get some rest."

"Thank you." Rey crawls back under the covers as Ben lifts up the squealing Padmé, pressing her against his own chest. "I love you."

"I know," Ben answers softly, smirking as he leaves. Padmé still wails. "What's the matter, sweetheart?" He strokes her dark hair, thick like his. Her eyes, though—they've softened from the every-baby's blue to hazel, like Rey's. Ben's glad. He likes Rey's eyes, and seeing them in such a small face—it still astounds him. In her six months, Padmé's doubled in size, and yet she's still tiny.

She drools and sobs against his dark shirt, the wetness seeping through. Ben winces and adjusts her. He remembers the lullaby R2 sang to him the first night he showed up at D'Qar, the only Mother used to sing to him, and sings it softly for his daughter as they head outside.

The stars sparkle overhead, against a velvet universe. Somewhere, out there, Poe's finishing a mission to eradicate the First Order. He should be back soon, and that'll be a relief for Finn, Ben's cousin. And for Ben. Poe's his friend.

Whoever would have thought?

A group of Resistance pilots pass, casting him skeptical looks. Even after everyone's word about how he'd helped defeat Snoke, even after he married Rey, not everyone trusts him. Not that Ben blames them.

Although he does feel frustrated. With himself, for letting it get so far to where he will never be truly redeemed.

You've sullied your grandfather's name.

No. His grandfather's assured him of his love.

"No wonder she's crying," mutters one pilot. "Clutched in the arms of that monster."

His words hit Ben like a bowcaster blow. His knees buckle, but he can't fall. He has Padmé in his arms. Instead, he glares at that pilot, whose face blanches.

"Sorry," says Jess Pava as she glowers after her crewmate. "She okay?"

Despite their atrocious beginning, when Jess once tried to burn Ben's face with his own lightsaber, she's at least warmed up to him. Or at least, to Rey and Padmé, and that keeps her from hating him. Ben thinks.

"Hope so. She's been cranky lately," Ben answers as Padmé's cries drag like nails down his back. Stop, sweet child, please be quiet. Please. Please be quiet.

"Is she teething?" Jess questions.

Huh. Ben pries Padmé's face up and tries to look in her mouth. No go. "Maybe?"

"If she is, giving her something to chew on might help," Jess suggests. "I've gotta go. Poe's supposed to radio us in fifteen minutes."

Ben nods. "Everything all right?'

"Hopefully. Have a good night." Jess swishes away, and Ben offers Padmé his finger. She grabs it in her small fists, pulling it into her mouth. She bites down, gnawing on it with her gums.

And, possibly a tooth. Ouch.

At least her cries are quieting. Ben sighs as he strolls past several X-wings, pausing by the Millennium Falcon. "Someday, we'll go up there," Ben tells her. "You were born up there, you know that? In the sky."

Her eyelids start to droop. Oh, please, thank the Maker.

Ben signs the lullaby from Alderaan again, and again. Padmé whimpers, and he keeps singing, desperate.

Eventually, her head sags against his shoulder. Ben sings and walks under the stars, rocking her gently.

I love you so much, Ben thinks, watching her sleep with a lump in his throat.

Admiral Ackbar passes by, giving Ben a nod of acknowledgement. Ben returns the gesture.

"I recognize the song," Ackbar tells him.

"My mother used to—"

"Her mother—her adoptive mother—used to sing it to her when she had nightmares. She sang it to you." Ackbar shakes his head. "Are nightmares inherited for all descendants of Darth Vader?"

If Ben didn't have Padmé in his arms, he would show this admiral the true power of the Force. He narrows his eyes. "She's teething." Probably.

"Of course. I meant no insult."

Not to his mother or his uncle, Ben knows. But he certainly did mean to insult Ben, whom he sees as nothing more than Han's murderer, Snoke's lackey. "I'm not Kylo Ren anymore."

"What are you going to tell her about that?" Ackbar asks, inclining his head towards the baby. "About your... exploits? About what happened to your father?"

The night air is warm, but goosebumps prickle on Ben's arms and nausea surges within him. He hates Ackbar in this moment. All the emotions he associates with the Dark Side—the fury, the rage, the urge to smash things with his lightsaber and threaten, always threaten—boils in the pit of his stomach. He grits his teeth.

Ackbar steps back, and the darkness deflates within him to a rock rattling around his abdomen. Ben hangs his head as the admiral walks away.

It's still there.

He's known it. He knows it always will be—but—why?

Padmé stirs, sighing in her sleep.

What am I going to tell her?

Ben heads back inside, crawling in next to Rey. He doesn't put Padmé in her crib. Instead, he keeps her curled up on his chest, falling asleep with her heart beating against his.