•LEGACY - A Reylo Story•

EPISODE LXXIII - NIGHTMARES

"Are you going to be okay?" Luke queries, watching as Finn paces the Millennium Falcon.

He nods, rubbing his arms. "Try again?"

BB-8 and R2 both rise in the air. Finn smirks and sets them down.

"Good job," Luke tells him.

Clearly his father can tell he's distracted, though. Finn leans against the bunk, memories storming his brain. Memories he's told Poe, in snippets, and memories he's kept locked away in the dark, memories he's not quite sure he wants his father to know, or even Poe.

What if Snoke did win, in the end? Finn wonders as he stares at his hands. Snoke hadn't thought he had the Force, but now that he does—will confronting this demon of his childhood drive him to the dark or into the light?

He doesn't know. He doesn't want to know.

Maybe Snoke didn't underestimate you after all. You are weak.

"Finn?" Luke questions.

"Hey." Poe emerges from the cockpit as if he somehow sensed that Finn needed him. "Done training?"

"Yeah, for right now," Finn says quickly.

BB-8 bloops.

"He says you're doing well," Poe report, giving the droid a thumbs-up.

"When do we get there?" Finn asks.

"Another day." Poe pulls Finn closer and kisses him. "It'll be all right," he whispers in Finn's ear. "Somehow."

I hope you're right, Poe, Finn wishes.

Was this what you meant, Anakin?

/////

"What if it's not a cold? What if it's an infection? From her teething?"

"It is not an infection," Rey insists. "Dr. Kalonia said so. Relax, Ben." She cradles Padmé. "It'll be all right, sweetheart. Just sleep."

Ben drags his hands through his hair and glares about their room as if he'd like very much to smash some of the walls with his lightsaber.

A knock sounds against the door. Rey jumps.

"I know you're all in there!" Lando's voice comes muffled. "If you need to put clothes on, I'll wait—"

Ben rolls his eyes as he yanks the door open.

"There you are," Lando declares, stepping in and clapping Ben on the back. "Miss me?"

Ben's childish, lopsided grin flashes over his face. Rey smiles to herself. "Yeah."

"How's the princess?"

"A little sick," Rey answers, laying Padmé down in her crib. "Sniffly. And she's teething, so—"

"So neither of you are sleeping." Lando rolls his eyes. "I may not have ever had kids, but I've been around them before. Namely, you." He nods at Ben.

Chewie snuffles as he comes into the room, embracing Lando.

"Maz come with you?" Rey questions.

"Yeah." Lando glances around. "She wants to talk to you, Rey."

"I'll stay with her," Ben assures Rey. Not that she expected him to leave Padmé. His worry's embedded in his face.

"Rey Kenobi!" Maz greets her down the hallway. "Or is it Rey Solo?" She winks.

"Both work." Rey's still just grateful to have a family to call hers. Two families, now.

Maz winks. "How have you been?"

"I've been..." Rey blows her breath out. There's no use concealing it from Maz. "I have nightmares. About Padmé—that I'm working, and I'm old, and then she shows up and I realize I forgot about her and I left her." Tears grab at Rey's voice. "And I dream Snoke has her, Snoke has me—"

"And that Snoke has Kylo Ren," Maz supplies.

She nods. "I know it's all a lie, but when I dream about it—I feel so guilty. For dreaming it. Like it's not fair, because it's not fair to him. I don't have any fears about that when I'm awake; really I don't. He loves me and I know it—I just—I don't know why I keep having these dreams."

"Oh, child," Maz says with a sigh. "You went through—those months Snoke had you—that was terrifying for you. Ben knows it." She clasps Rey's hands. "You should tell him."

"That I dream he's a monster? That would destroy him."

"It's destroying you already," Maz points out. "You don't have to do everything alone."

I can walk! she'd snarled when she realized she was going into labor.

I know. But you don't have to, Ben had answered at the time, sweeping her into his arms.

Rey shrugs. She's used to having to do things on her own—deal with her abandonment, with the nightmares she used to have on Jakku, comforted only by dreams of an ocean, and an island.

But Ben's her husband, and she trusts him. She wants to.

When Rey gets back to her room, she finds Chewie, Lando, and Ben all laughing about something with Padmé sleeps soundly next to Ben. Of course he didn't leave her in her crib, Rey thinks wryly.

"Rey—are you—" Ben can clearly notice her reddened eyes.

"Can I talk to you?" she requests. "Alone?"

"Sure thing." Lando nods to them both as he and Chewie lumber out.

"What's wrong?" Ben grabs her by the arms, leading her back to the bed.

"It's—I was just talking to Maz, and she asked how I was, and I told her about the nightmares." Rey sniffs.

"Oh, Rey." Ben clasps the back of her head, fingers weaving in-between the buns. "I'm sorry." For you, Rey realizes as she sinks into his mind.

Rey withdraws and gulps. "Can you look in my mind?"

"Why?"

She shakes her head, covering her eyes. "I don't want to say it out loud."

Rey can sense his trepidation as he enters. She's not resisting, and it doesn't hurt as he wanders around, as he sees her dreams. Her chest throbs even though her mind is clear, because she knows she's hurting him, and she hates that.

When he pulls away, Rey grabs him in her arms, pressing her face against his shoulder. He wraps her up in his arms, squeezing her against him. She feels his body shuddering, feels his chin press against the top of her head.

"I love you," she chokes out.

"I know," he manages, lifting her chin with his hands to face him. "I do know, Rey."

"But if I'm having dreams—I know they don't mean anything, I do—but you don't deserve that."

Ben leans down so that his forehead presses into hers. "And that's exactly how I know it. You feel badly thinking about me that way." His voice trembles. "Most people are more than happy to."

"You're not mad at me?"

"I'm mad that I did all that," Ben says. "And that I let—that I didn't find you sooner. It still kills me that it was almost too late."

"But it wasn't too late." Rey swallows.

"True." Ben shakes his head. "Rey, you know you can tell me these things. I want to be here for you. I love you."

Rey shrugs. "I know—it's just—I'm so used to doing it all by myself. Keeping myself going. And I can't do that anymore."

"I'm here."

"I know." She presses her lips against his.

Ben whispers. "Do you think she'll wake up?"

"Probably," Rey says, pulling his shirt up. "We can try, though."

He seizes her, kissing her with a new intensity.