Change Your Mind

Chapter 7- Indecisiveness and jealousy

Ashley's P.O.V

I hate indecisiveness. In others, in me, in everything. It's one of my biggest pet peeves.

I turn away from Zayn and walk into what could be called a living room. Niall is drinking a beer.

"Hey." I say, putting my hand on his arm which isn't holding a beer. I sit on the couch next to him.

"Hey babe." he says, causing my stomach to flutter in an unexpected, yet not displeasing way. "I was just going to find you actually. Mind if we have a talk?"

He's speaking in a hushed voice, obviously it's important. My stomach is no longer fluttering, but aching with anxiety. I find myself squeezing his arm.

"Don't stress babe. I just wanted to tell you something." he soothes. That's of marginal relief.

"I already know about Liam telling you not to put the moves on me. But that's okay, coz he never told me not to put the moves on you." I say, winking unashamedly. Niall splutters, and nearly spits out the beer he had in his mouth.

"Well, that's good to know, but it's a little more serious." he lowers his voice earlier. "Ashley... you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what were those pill bottles in your room?"

My stomach drops and I feel ill. Niall wasn't supposed to see those, none of the boys were. I was supposed to be better and moved on from that part of my life.

Apparently not.

"I- I-" I stutter out, trying to make some sensical words. Niall is quick to put his bottle down and pull me into a hug. At least I'm not crying.

"I'm so sorry. You don't have to answer it. I'm sorry." he whispers. Despite my distress, I do enjoy the feeling of Niall's embrace.

I kiss his cheek as we pull away. "No. It's fine. There's a lot that's happened to me over the past few months, and everything's linked together so I can't exactly explain the pills without explaining the rest of the... things that happened, I guess. I want to tell you, but I'm not really... ready, I guess." I explain. Niall nods.

"One more thing." he says. I shrug.

"Who's your favourite out of us?" he whispers. I sigh. I heard him and Liam talk about this in the car, and honestly I would go for him not because I'm a directioner but because I love him and everything

"Don't be hurt, please". I do feel a lot of sympathy towards him, especially because I'm in an identical situation with Zayn.

He lowers his head and it's quite obvious that he's crying.

"Niall, please don't cry. Please. Why are you even crying?" I ask him, hopefully gently. He lifts his head up gingerly and I'm shocked by his red eyes and tear stained face.

I lift my hand to wipe away his tears and to my surprise, he doesn't pull away.

"It's not me." he sniffs, wiping his nose. "It never is."

"That is not true Niall! Almost all my friends love you. I'm sorry." I whisper as I pull him into a hug. He hugs me back, surprising me again.

"Ashley... I like you. Like a lot." he admits shyly. My heart soars and I press my forehead against his.

"I like you a lot too, and I really hope you know that I'm not just saying that." I tell him earnestly. He closes his eyes.

"Ashley, I want to believe you, but-" I cut him off by moving in a pressing my lips to his. As I assumed, he doesn't pull away, put pulls me into a position where I'm straddling his lap and his hands are on my hips. We find a rhythm fairly quickly and as I run my tongue over his bottom lip, he groans into my mouth.