because i wanted you to know

03

Fall came again and by that point you had stopped talking to me because you fell for a girl you couldn't have.

I cried, but I understood. I always understood.

I was standing there, arms open wide, ready for you whenever you were ready for me.

But you just kept pushing and chasing and praying for her instead.

I couldn't even begin to tell you what that did to me mentally. I was utterly destroyed. You gave me a piece of you just to steal it right back from my grip, and I had to pretend I was okay because I think everyone but me knew we would never amount to anything.

I wanted you for so long, and finally, I got a taste. It ended before I could even tell you everything I had dreamt and written and thought for you. It was worse than the excruciating pain I endured the first part of that summer when I gave you away to someone that didn't deserve you.

This time, I was fully invested, giving every inch of myself up because I so desperately wanted you to have me.

She ended up leaving everything, and everyone else behind to be with you.

That wasn't a surprise. I think anyone that had the privilege of knowing you, and I mean really knowing you, would do the same thing.

But she broke you over and over, took advantage of what you were willing to do to keep her, and you still fell in love.

I stayed, my arms still wide open, waiting for it to end. It never did. It was up and down and on and off, but you guys were never over.

You promised to love her forever.

I would've done anything to hear you say those words to me.