Starless Boys ☆ Yuri On Ice

Love Means Nothing To Me

Yuuri's quiet in the morning. He unintentionally snuffs my desire to blossom and burst into loud colours and dance on rooftops singing tales of Yuuri Katsuki, tales of his warmth, his sound, his skin.

Yuuri Katsuki showed me the world! I want to sing from all the hights.

"Take the till ok?" He instructs as we get behind the counter at Yutopia, the first ones in.

I nod, swooping in to kiss under his jawline. He smiles and akwardly pats my back, like a pal. That brings me down from all those roofs.

"Send Jewel through when he comes" he gestures to his office, heading that way with one last smile over his shoulder. 

I stare at the door as it slowly closes, wondering what happened.

What did I do?

I wonder if I can't be an exception, if Yuuri just can't commit to anybody. He might be scared about committing to me.

Maybe Chris was wrong. Maybe I'm not special enough to change him.

I try to forget about it as I turn on the till, try to assure myself that I am different.  I am.

I am aren't I?

"Victor!" I look up to see Jewel and Chris at my side. Jewel looking bright as ever as he slaps me in the back a lot like Yuuri did, platonically.

"Oh. You look like a boy who's had his first tumble!" He exclaims, draping a heavy arm over my shoulders and pulling me into his side.

"I'm sorry?" I ask, trying not to stumble.

"You know, a roll around in the sheets" he restates suggestively, ruffling my hair like an actual father before leaning against the counter to face me.

"I do?" I've heard the myth, that someone looks different after their first time, their aura changes. And I feel different but how could I look different?

"Oh yes" Chris nods profoundly as he rolls up the sleeve of his shirt. He had nothing more to add, excusing himself to the kitchen. Watching after him as he leaves, I try to get into his head, try to imagine how this must make him feel.

"How'd you know?"

"Pshycic. It's a unique skill" he winks smugly. Well, sarcasm aside he does seem to have an added layer of perception.

It's another question what he must think. What goes through ones mind when the son of a man you despise sleeps with someone you've basically mentored through life and care about so much.

"Um Yuuri's waiting for you in his office"

"Ah yes. Time for the accounts. You know where we are" he tugs the left side of my collar as he leaves with a brief wave.

When I look at my reflection in the glass to see if it's out of place I realise that Jewel isn't a Pshycic at all. He simply has eyes. Eyes that saw the small hickey on my neck.

Oddly, I continue work with a pleased smile on my face.

After the suns turned up for work and a few customers in suits have come and gone Yuuri and Jewel are still in a meeting. When I went in there to give them some coffee it was like seeing a new Yuuri for the first time. He was sat in his office chair, at his desk, one leg crossed over the other, leaning like he owns the place with his black sleeves rolled up, an ink pen in hand and glasses slipping down his nose.

He's so kind it's easy to forget he's a boss, my boss. But he is, he owns a diner and he's hot when he works and I love him.

Shaking my head at myself at how gone I am, I look up with a smile to my next customer, in an expensive tan trench coat with an upturned collar and a black hat casting a shadow on his face.