Starless Boys ☆ Yuri On Ice

Life After Birth

Waking up for once isn't a painful process, it isn't another introduction to cold ground and chilling winds. It's a warm wrap of soft material.

I turn in bed and face the white ceiling, sighing in contentment and feeling so much more alive than I've felt in months, like myself again, young.

On the nightstand to my right sits a cute round clock, black and white in colour; it reads 4: 50 pm. I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be asleep that long.

When I get out of bed I spend an excessive amount of time making it look exactly how it was when I found it before venturing outside the room. It's immediately clear that Yuuri isn't in, he's probably working.

I pad into the bathroom slowly, feeling a little odd about being here without Yuuri's presence. Straight away I notice the difference, the bathroom is scattered with bright pink post it's. On the ledge of the sink lie scissors, a razor and shaving cream, next to them a post it reading do something creative? With a little confused chibi face in the corner. Already smiling I look to the next paper, stuck on a bottle of conditioner, with the silver is looking a little dull don't you think? Written neatly on it, with a chibi sticking his tongue out. The final post it in the bathroom is on a closed toothbrush packaging, reading, it matches your eyes, it's yours now with a grinning face in the corner. The toothbrush is a cyan blue colour, light in saturation.

I hadn't thought he'd payed attention to my eyes.

It's heartwarming that Yuuri would take the time in the morning to write these, pictures and all, just to help me out. Smiling wide, I go for the toothbrush, busting the pack open, finding the paste, and brushing for a long time, just enjoying the mundane action I used to think nothing of.

As I do that I observe myself in the mirror, noticing a change there too. The hours of sleep have done wonders to flatten my eye bags, almost erasing them completely, and I look brighter somehow, less sickly and deathly white, more pumped with colour.

The hair really needs to change though. It still disguises all my features and acts as dirt that just can't be washed away, the strands stained by rough living.

Once I've spat all the paste down the drain I drop my toothbrush in Yuuri's silver cup. Two other brushes rest there, one an obnoxious purple and the other completely black, even the bristles are the colour. It's not something you see around.

Then I grab the scissors. It's time to shed some weight.

Usually the technicalities of cutting my hair are a stressful thing, this time around the entire process is calming, liberating, free. As strands fall into the bin I've dragged between my feet I feel more and more triumphant, like suddenly I can achieve, make good on my promise to repay Yuuri.

Eventually I have it, my haircut, slightly undercut, a long bang covering my left eye. The dirt and knots, the split ends, all gone; leaving something I recognise behind.

More minutes later I'm already shedding the hair off my face, peeling it down and off with Yuuri's razor and cream. It's difficult to decide whether to go completely clean or leave a shadow behind, as a reminder. When I build myself back up, and I will, I'll have the markings of my past still on my face.

In the end I choose to leave a very faint shadow, there, but barely.

I spend another chunk of time cleaning the bathroom of my stray hairs and bits I didn't even cause. Yuuri's kindness deserves more than just some cleaning but requires this level of gratitude at all times.

I take another quick shower, using shampoo and conditioner, again not being sure if this'll be the last for a while, hopping out and putting on the same clothes Yuuri left on the toilet seat yesterday.