Annabel
The taxi pulled up to Josh's house and my mind was racing with many different thoughts.
What was I suppose to tell him? No, actually, I knew what I was suppose to tell him, the hard part being how I was going to tell him.
I don't think just coming right out saying "I've been secretly in love with Harry for years and kind of just used you to try and get over him."
No, I have a feeling that would just make things worse.
Josh is a great guy. Amazing, actually. He deserves a girl who wants him and only him; not me who still has feelings for someone else. He can do so much better than me.
The thing that terrified me the most is the look on his face. The look if hurt when I tell him I don't want to be anything more.
I hate when people are sad, even though I've been sad for a majority of my life, I still manage to be happy. It's when I hurt the one's I care about. That's what kills me.
The last thing I want to do is hurt Josh. I'm hoping and praying that he will understand and it not even phase him. I'm hoping we can move on and be friends.
Hoping.
Another feeling inside of me told me it wasn't going to be that easy.
I took a deep breath and sighed loudly, playing with the hem of my white tank top. I wasn't dressed to impress that day with my old light wash capris and worn down black converse. My hair was in a messy bun and not a speck of make-up visible on my face.
My heart raced and finally Josh opened the door, revealing him in a pair of grey sweat pants and a white t-shirt. His hair was messy and he looked as if he had just woken up. It was only 9:30 in the morning.
"Hey," he muttered coldly, leaning against the door frame.
"Hi," I said back, barely audible. It was quiet for a moment, and the anticipation was killing me. "Can I come in?" I finally asked.
He waited a moment before nodding and moving to the side just a little to allow me through. He was giving me the cold shoulder. I deserved that.
I took a seat on his couch, placing my hands in my lap. He sat on the recliner across from me. He stared back at me, his eyes boaring into mine, obviously waiting for me to say something.
I said the only thing that I hoped could fix this.
"I'm sorry," I sighed, looking anywhere but his eyes.
"For what?" he scoffed. "Leading me on?"
"Well that and-"
"That's not what I'm upset about, Annabel." he sighed, running his hands through his hair. I looked at him questionably.
"Why didn't you just tell me? Why couldn't you have just told me instead of letting me get my hopes up of even having a chance with you? I opened up to you, Annabel. I may have even started to fall for you."
"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know the kiss or any of this was going to happen. I thought I was getting over him and you were so sweet to me I couldn't possibly tell you! I just, I'm so sorry. I should have told you from the beginning. But I just manage to always fuck up anything good in my life." I croaked, putting my face in my hands, feeling as if I was on the verge of breaking down.
I heard Josh sigh and then some shuffling. I then felt the couch sink down beside me. I looked up to see him sitting next to me, looking at me with a softer expression.
