my dearest kazuya || miyuki kazuya

uno

my dearest kazu,

how have you been? how are you and your girlfriend? how is your relationship going? is it going smoothly? are you in a rocky patch right now?

i'm sorry, i'm asking too many questions aren't i? it's not like you'll ever see this letter anyway. you know, it's two a.m right now, and i'm writing this because i can't sleep. i keep picturing your happy face in my mind when i close my eyes and i can't sleep because of it. because i know that i'll dream of you, and i'm not sure if my heart can handle any more of that.

you know, my mother once told me that the only people up at 2 a.m, are in love or heart broken. is it possible for me to be both?

valentine's day is coming up. are you gonna spend it with you girlfriend? oh, who am i kidding? of course you are. i know you will because i know you.

i know basically everything there is to know about you, and it's the same with me. you know me so well, you can predict what i'm going to say. but, we're just friends. best friends, although all my 11:11 wishes are for you. and if you ask what i'm wishing for, ill just say 'nothing much' because i can't let you know. i can't let you know that i love you because then it will be awkward between us and i can't have that. i can't have you act all awkwardly around me because it'll just make me nervous about what you'll say next.

anyway, i hope one day i'll have the guts to actually give all these letters to you, and one day we'll be able to laugh about it because we'll live together and have a family together and if i show these to you it won't be awkward because we'll be so much in love.

but today is not that day, so i'll just have to settle with writing to you, instead of an actual conversation about my feelings.

sincerely,

the girl who secretly loves you, but can't tell you