Green Day SMUT one shots

CUSTOMER SERVICE

Bike ship

"Why the fuck is this shit not working?" Billie yelled and threw the instructions across the room. He was trying to build a bed from a Swedish company that sells furniture all over the world for customers to build it themselves. Billie sighed and got up to get the instructions again. He looked at the pictures not understanding what the fuck they want him to do. "How fucking hard can it be to put a goddamn bed together?" he cursed under his breath. He tried to calm down but looking at all the screws and other shit around him and the piece of shit that should be a bed, Billie got angry again and kicked the wooden bed frame hurting his foot. "YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT," Billie screamed and held his foot. He limped out of his bedroom into the kitchen to grab a cold beer. He opened the can and chucked the liquid away in three big sips. He squeezed the can together and threw it across the room. Billie looked for his laptop and opened his MacBook Pro after he freed it from dust and other weird shit. He googled the service hotline for said company and waited patiently for someone to talk to him. He sighed in annoyance as someone finally picked up the phone. "Yeah hi, I have a question. I need help setting up one of your items. Do you send people out?" he asked as friendly as he could. "No sorry sir, we don't do that unless it's really necessary. What's your problem?" she asked. Billie looked around frantically, looking for a good excuse. "I uh only have one hand so it's pretty difficult for me and uh my friends bailed on me so I need help," he lied. "Oh okay, I'm sorry sir. We will send someone immediately. Can I get your name and address, please?" the woman on the phone said. "Uh, Billie Joe Armstrong. Christie Road 86," Billie said as he sat down on the couch. "Okay, we will send someone your way. Thank you!" she said and hung up before Billie had a chance to say goodbye.

He got up and walked back to the fridge to get a new can of beer. He looked at his hands opening the can and realized how stupid his lie was. "What if she's the one helping me out?" Billie panicked. He grabbed his laptop and googled if he could get sued for lying to them but couldn't find any reliable answers. He closed the laptop and looked at the knife on his counter but decided against this idea. "I still need you for masturbating, please never leave me," he said and kissed his tattooed hand. He waited patiently until someone finally rang. He got up and felt his chest tightening because he was really nervous. He looked through the peephole and saw a man around his age standing there. He pulled his left arm up and tried to hide it. He opened the door and looked at the man and already liked what he saw. "Hi, you are my helping hand I guess?" he said and held up his arm. He let the man walk into his apartment. "I'm so sorry for that. Am I allowed to ask how that happened?" the man said and looked at him. Billie started sweating a little bit and searched for a good answer. "Uh a bear attacked me when I was young," he said as this was the best reason why he 'lost' his hand. "Oh wow, a bear attack? How did you get away from the bear and survive?" he asked, really interested in Billies made up story. "I'm pretty good at climbing so I climbed up a tree and that saved my life," he lied. "Oh wow, dude! Tha's one hell of a back story," he said. "Yeah well, my dad saved and shit but that's not important right now. Important is the pile of shit laying in my bedroom," Billie said and walked into his bedroom. Mike was still impressed by his story and followed him.

"Good choice man, I have the same bed," the guy said. "Thanks uh what's your name?" Billie asked. "Oh I'm sorry, where are my manners. Mike Dirnt uh Pritchard," Mike said and held out his hand for Billie to shake it. "So I assume you are married?" Billie said, slightly disappointed. "Uh no, I'm single. I should really start setting this up now," Mike said fast and started to work on the bed. "Hey I want to get a beer, you want one too?" Billie asked Mike, staring at the good-looking man. "Uh no, not during work but thanks," Mike answered. Billie walked back into the kitchen and got two beers and one coke, trying to carry it back into the bedroom. "Here is a coke for you," Billie said. As Billie handed Mike the coke, their hands touched slightly. Billie got lost in Mikes blue eyes and it felt like the time stopped. Mike just grabbed the beer and it seemed like he didn't feel anything like Billie. "Thanks, man," he simply said, took a sip of his coke and set it at Billie's nightstand. Mike started to read the instructions from the bed. He searched for a couple of things and got out his own screwdriver and started to build the bed for Billie. Billie tried also to focus on the instructions and wanted to help Mike a little bit but failed. He couldn't keep his eyes off Mike and his actions. He loved the way he looked when he searched for a missing screw. Billie couldn't stop looking at Mikes sexy ass and wanted to touch it. 'What the fuck am I thinking about?' Billie thought to himself. He felt a little bit bad because Mike is probably not into boys. And he felt even worse as he felt something grow into his pants. "And do you have a wife?" Mike said bluntly and looked into Billies direction. Billie grabbed a pillow and sat down on a chair, tried to hide his erection. "Uhm, no, I haven't got a girlfriend. But my boyfriend broke up with me three weeks ago and that's the reason why I need a new bed," Billie answered. Mike blushed a little bit. He thought that Billie is straight like a pencil. Mike was really attracted to Billie but he was at work and must stay professional.