Unexpected (TaeJin)

17

Tae POV

That night after Jin brings me home I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling trying to wrap my head around everything he had just told me and everything we almost did. "Are we going to stay together?" I ask aloud blankly staring at my white ceiling. Technically we did just in fact start dating, mostly because I finally asked him officially, but that's besides the point.

I can't help but smile at these thoughts of all the good and bad conflicts that keep arising and trying to come in between my love life. Now I'm not smiling because I'm happy, it's more of a I-can't-believe-this type of smile. I can't believe the adrenaline rush I feel being with him and how happy I am to be near him. So yes, I guess it is a type of happy but, maybe more of an ironic happy?

But honestly, I can't help but wonder why would someone he thought he could trust hurt him this bad... I can't imagine how he's been feeling and I can understand why he's been so distant now. I feel like an ass for only thinking about myself but I was wondering what he was doing and I was hoping we were okay, maybe we shouldn't be together. I sigh deeply sitting up on my bed. I cover my face and take a few more deep breaths to try and help me figure out what is going on in my head.

"How do you make me feel like this Hyung?" I ask uncovering my face and letting my elbows rest on my propped up knees. Jin makes me happy and feel loved and I want to make him feel the way I feel but I don't know if I should. I know I could make him truly love me if I stopped being so shy in public and even in school. I need to come out, that might be the only way he will truly see that I want to be with him and make him feel safe.

"It's now or never Kim TaeHyung." I psych myself up as I exit my bedroom and walk downstairs to my grandmothers room. I have to tell her now while I have the guts to do so. I'm afraid that that if I wait any longer it will be too late for me to say or do anything to help the situation I so graciously placed myself in. That sounded like I really don't being in the position I'm in, but I actually don't mind being where I am with Jin. Jin said that it won't be long for him to get the divorce papers and by the time everything is done I should be graduated and ready to go to Uni.

"Grandma?" I shyly say nervously stepping into the light. She was in the living room watching some drama about a someone that could detect death and someone who was death. They were detectives or at least the guy was and the girl helped him with cases.

"Yes?" She asks not taking her focused look away from the television screen.

"I gotta talk to you.." I mumble sitting next to her on the couch. She gives me a nod and pauses the TV. "This is gonna be a good part." She says talking about the show. "You wouldn't believe what just happened!" She says giddily. I smile meekly at her excitement. "What's wrong?" Grandma asks me. Her intruding face has shifted into a concerned expression.

I sigh closing my eyes. I've been living a lie, she needs to know. Once she knows about me things won't be so hard and I'll actually be able to talk to her about things that I really need to or want to put out there. Take a deep breath Tae, she probably will be understanding. I lick my lips and open my eyes. "Grandma-"

Grandma puts her hands on my knee and smiles at me. "It's okay TaeHyungie, I know." She says with a reassuring nod.

I'm shocked by her response. I haven't said anything yet... how could she know?

"I know you liked boys. I thought maybe you did when I found that magazine in your room." My grandma scolds me. "You shouldn't have such provocative things laying around and not properly hidden." She tells me.