Saving Me

Chapter one

When I get home, I throw myself on my bed. As I lay here, all I can think about is how horrible the day was. Today was my first day of 11th grade. School sucks, and my life sucks. Whats new? My whole life, I've been the outsider every where I go. At school, I get laughed at. I force myself to get out of bed in the mornings. My mom died of cancer 3 years ago. Since then, Ive been living with my dad who is a drunk. He comes home really late every night, smelling of alcohol. He's also very abusive at times. Theres nothing I can do though, know one I can confide in.

I stand up and walk over to my door heading to the hallway. I turn the lock so no one can get in and i head to my bathroom which is attached to my room. I open the cabnet behind the mirror and pull out a little brown box. As im heading to go sit on my bed, I remember I'm going to need tissue. I grab the roll of toilet paper, and walk to my bed. As I sit down, I open the box to find my razor blades just as I left them. I grab the thin and sharp metal and began running them over my wrist. I open up a few older scars, but I dont care. I can feel the pain shooting through my arms, but it only makes me cut deeper. I can feel the blood running off my skin onto the wooden floor below me. I look around and see the toilet paper right where I layed it. I pick it up and unroll a load of it. As I press the toilet paper on my cuts, I can see the blood just soaking through the tissue. I jump up and run to the bathroom and let my arms run under the cool water. Finally after staining 3 wash cloths, I get the bleeding to stop. "I couldve killed myself," I think. "I dont care anyway," another part of my brain said.I go clean up the mess of blood on the floor and then lay on my bed . It's not long before I slip into my thoughts.

I look out my window, noticing that darkness has already descended. "Have I really layed here that long?"I do this sometimes. I get lost in my own thoughts, and time just escapes me. My stomach growls telling me I should eat something. I haven't heard my dad come in yet, so I head down stairs hoping I don't cross paths with him. It's the same thing everytime we see each other. He either pushes me, or hits me. He sometimes will push me to the ground and just wail on me. I try my best to avoid the bastard. Saves me some bruises.

I open the refrigerator to find nothing but a 24 pack of beer. "Oh my gosh! He can't even buy food? Does he want me to starve?!"I say silently to myself even though no ones in the house but me. I look around the kitchen and find nothing to eat. My stomach growls again. I run back up the stairs and change my cloths since the ones I had on had blood on them from cutting. I grab a ten dollar bill out of my life savings and head out the door leading to the street. I began walking to the town diner.

The town I live in is pretty small. Everyone knows everyone, and you can walk everywhere. The town diner is family owned and I go there a lot. A lot of the times, theres nothing better to do. I use to go there with my best freind, Sara. But 4 years ago, she moved to Canada with her dad. I haven't seen her since. We were 2 peas in a pot, and were in separable. We lost touch not long after she moved though. With losing her and my mom and how my dad is unreachable now, Ive kinda just felt abandoned. Now its just me, alone in this world.

When I reach the diner, I notice a blue pick up truck outside. "Who could that be? Never seen that truck here before."I walk in and just brush it off, probably a newbee to the town. I walk over to a booth and sit down. I pull my sleeves over my cuts so no one can see them. The last thing I need right now, is to become "the freak girl who cuts herself". As im waiting, I notice a new face sitting just a few booths away. He has dark brown short hair, and the most goergous peircing brown eyes I've ever seen."Who is that?" I think to myself. "Maybe he owns that truck outside." I'm startled by a voice, I look up to see the familar waitress asking me what I would like to order. I tell her my regular and she walks away to go put in the order.

I look back up to find the new guy looking at me. I quickly look back down, wishing I hadn't looked at him. "Now he's going to think im some freak girl that stares," I think to my self. I continue to look down and I get lost in my own thoughts. Agian my thoughts are interrupted by the waitress. She sets my food down and I tell her thank you. I don't look up the rest of the time, afraid he will catch me looking agian. Im almost finished when I see a figure sit down in front of me. I look up wandering who the heck would want to sit with me. Guess who it is. That's right, the new guy.