Saving Me

Chap6

     After he shows me his paintings, we leave the attic and he takes me to the kitchen downstairs to get something to drink. 

     "We have Coke, Dr . Pepper, Pepsi, Water, Milk, Orange Juice,  and Tea. What would you like to drink?" He asks me as I wonder into the breathtaking living room.

      "Dr.Pepper. This house just continues to blow me away." I exclaim.

      "Okay,  Dr . Pepper it is. And thank you." He walks into the living room where I'm standing. "It is a really nice house. It looks most beautiful when your standing in it though." He says with a wink as he hands me my drink.

       I lean up and kiss him a thank you . Then I take a sip of my drink, as I grab his hand and intertwine our fingers.

      "Wanna see something even better?"He asks with a cute smile.

       "What more could there be!?" I say laughing. "But of course, I'd love to see more." Thats all he needed to sit down his drink and pull me to a door, a back door I assume. Then he opens it and light floods in slitly blinding me for a second. Then my eyes adjust to the bright outside, and I see this amazing garden like back yard. I mean it's the kind of garden you see on movies. The edges where the fence is has bushes lining it with flowers. In the middle are 3 willow trees in a triangular shape. Under the shade of the trees is a beautiful white bench with flowers on each side of it. A fountain is by the trees with clear sparkling water running in it. I hear the beutiful sound of birds chirping as I feel shane pull me out of the house and into this paradise before me.

     "Do you like it?" He asks with a knowing smile.

      "Do I like it?! I love it baby!" I say as I squeeze his hand gently.

       "Well good. I thought you would.  Come on, lets go sit on the bench under those trees over there." He says. So we head over and sit down. "This is where I come to think. It's so peaceful." He says as he pulls me onto his lap.

        "Yeah I can see why you like being out here. It's really kinda perfect."I say smiling. Then I kiss him softly. He kisses me back. Then He breaks free, looking more serious.

     

        "Do you have any other places that you have cut before?" I can see the pain in his eyes as he says the word cut.

        

       I hesitate, but I give in. "Yeah I say pointing towards my belly and my thighs."

       His face goes white as he sees me point,"Can I see?" I pull up my shirt and reveal my scarred stomach. I can hear his breath catch in his throat. I reach over and grab his hand. It is a hard sight to take in.

      "Baby... I don't know whats to say. These are bad, like really bad. They are deep and theres so many!" He says as tears fall from his eyes.

      He pulls the material back over my cuts and pulls me into him. I snuggle into his neck as I cry. I cry over everything.  I cry over the fact I struggle with self harming.I cry over the fact that I could literally feel his heart breaking when he seen my scars. I cry because I lost my mother, I cry because I have also in a way, lost my dad. And the whole time I'm crying,  he holds me so close and so tight. I feel his chest jurk the way it does when some one begans to cry. Even though he is crying too, he still holds me in his strong embrace. I let myself fall apart in his arms even though all I wanna do it stay strong for him. I need to stay strong for him because he needs it. I pull away and open my arms telling him to let me hold him while he crys. He trys to protest telling me he wants to hold me while I cry, but I object knowing that this is what he needs. He doesn't object this time and he just falls into my arms. He burys his face into the arch of my neck and crys like I've never seen a man cry before. His body jurks with emotional pain, and I can tell he hasn't cryed in forever, I can tell he has held this in all his life. As I feel his heart break, mine is breaking too. But I hold him close, saying in an unspoken way, that I will be here for him forever in always.  That he can count on me. And I can tell he knows this. We trust each other like we have never trusted anyone. As his crys cease, mine do to. And a silence falls over us. The kind of silence that you hear after a storm. It even seems that the birds, have stopped chirping. I continue tohold him as I feel his body relax more and more into mine. I can feelhis breath against the base of my neck, which sends chills through my body. I play with his hair comforting him. Then he breaks the silence.

     "Baby,  I can't even tell you how much I needed this. I don't cry,  ever. I haven't aloud myself to cry. I've held in everything, not able to face my emotional turmoil.  But you give me a sense that I can let it out, that I can face it. You let me know, that I'm not alone in this, and that helps me. It lets me know that I have you to face this with. Thank you baby, really, you have no idea what you've done for me." Then he kisses me.

    After our I kiss, I decide we need to go back to my house before my dad gets home. Just to be on the safe side.He doesn't protest and so we go and get my bookbag from his room, then we head to my house. I make sure to remember the way from his house to mine, just in case I ever need to come here in any state of emergency. Crazy, I know. But I need to stay on the safe side. We make it to my house soon enough. But I wish we hadn't because my dads car is in the drive way. Ugg, I just wanted to avoid him. But now I have no choice.