What Hurts The Most (Jeff Hardy FF)

Chapter Seven

To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Jeff kissing me was unexpected and not in a good way. I only thought of Jeff as a friend. But it still hurt me to think of the fact that he was using me to get to Trish. I haven't seen anyone since RAW last week and I wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone tonight. Jeff had tried to call me at least 10 times, but I never answered. I didn't even answer when Lita and Matt called. I honestly just wanted to appear dead to the rest of the world, I switched hotel rooms so they wouldn't know what room I was in once we reached the next city. Yet here I was walking towards the arena where Raw was being held. I was just gonna hang low and stay away from other people today, I just needed more time to think of what I would say to Jeff when I see him. I knew I shouldn't have gone off on him like I did, but I was just upset. I was lost in my thoughts when someone grabbed my shoulder and turned me around.

"Where have you been? I've been calling you for days" Jeff asked with a panicked look on his face. I just stared at him, I didn't know what to say or do

"Listen, we need to talk about-" Jeff started but I cut him off

"No, I don't wanna talk about that, I just wanna pretend it never happened" I told him starting to walk away. Jeff grabbed me and turned me around again.

"I'm not gonna pretend like it didn't happen. I wanted to do that since I met you and I know the timing was awful, but I'm not gonna pretend that it didn't happen. Because it did and I know you liked the kiss as much as I did even if you deny it." Jeff said as he gazed into my eyes. I saw an unfamiliar gleam in his eyes. I just stared at him.

"Dude just go talk to Trish pretending to like me won't get you anywhere with her." I said not showing any emotion. Pretending not to care was just easier than showing emotion.

"I'm gonna say this one time: I'm not into Trish, I like you and that's it." He said looking right into my eyes. And at that moment I felt myself leaning in, wanting to believe that someone wanted me instead of Trish. What a joke one person says they're interested in me and I start to throw myself at him. I snapped back to reality when I realized what I was doing.

"No, this can't happen" I said gesturing between the two of us.

"Why not? If we want it to why can't it happen." He asked pulling me towards him.

"There is no we. This can't happen" I repeated again

"Why not?" He asked frustration in his voice.

"What are people gonna say? This just can't happen we can't change fate. I'm not the one your meant to find. Its not up to us. It's just not in the cards for us." I say looking down. Why was I acting like this had already happened and I was breaking up with him.

"What if you were meant to be mine?" Jeff asks as he grabs my chin. He just wouldn't give up.

"You think its easy to do this? This is hopeless Jeff, just leave it at that." I say going to walk away, when he grabs me one last time.

"I'm not giving up that easy. No one can change that." He says as he lets me go

"Trust me you'll give up. Everyone does" I say as I walk towards the locker room.

"I'll wait as long as it takes" he told me

I wipe away a single tear that fell from my eye. I walk in the locker room to see Lita and Matt pacing

"What if she died?" I hear Lita say to Matt

"She didn't die" Matt says consoling his girlfriend.

"How do you know?" Lita says shaking

"Who died?" I asked making both of them jump

"Where have you been? I've been calling you for days" Lita says hugging me

"I just need time to myself" I say hugging her back. We broke after a few seconds.

"Why?" Matt asks confused. I couldn't stop myself from what I said next

"Ask that idiot you call your brother." I say with a harshness coming from my voice. Matt jumps as he is taken aback by my voice.

"What did Jeff do?" Lita asks

"Trust me talking about it is the last thing I wanna do." I say taking a seat on the bench.

"I'm gonna go find out what happened. Stay with her the last thing she needs is to be alone." Matt says to Lita. I guess he could see I was pretty upset.

"If he broke her I'll kill him myself" Lita says before she comes and sits next to me. Matt leaves us alone.

"What did he do?" Lita asks. That's when I finally break down and tell her everything. Crying into her chest for most of it.

"It okay, I got ya hun." She says as she rubs my head. As much as I want I can't stop crying. After what seems like hours I stop.

"Do you like him?" Lita asks

"I don't know, everything is just too messed up for me to anwer that. Part of me hates him, Part of me likes him, And the other part wants us to just be friends.and then I have that little voice that keeps reminding me that guys just use me as a way to get to Trish" I say pouring my heart out to her.

"What does your heart say?" She asks me

"The same thing, The bitch doesn't know what she wants." I say with a slight chuckle.

"Well lets not think about it right now, Lets relax and watch the show, Okay?" She asks

all I reply with is "Okay"

A/N: I know this is short and took me forever to get out. I've been working 50+ hours a weeks and had like no free time. I'm gonna try and update more often though I promise