What Hurts The Most (Jeff Hardy FF)

Chapter Fourteen

Waking up the next morning I was confused as too where I was. I could hear multiple voices but couldn't register who they were in my half asleep state. I slowly opened my eyes but quickly closed them when I saw how bright the room was.

"Can somebody turn the sun off?" I groaned putting my forearm over my eyes. I heard a female laugh and someone moving towards where the curtains are, atleast that's what I assume.

"Okay it's safe. You can open your eyes now." A male voice said softly. I proceeded to open my eyes to a much darker room. Matt and Lita were sitting on the bed opposite of me. Jeff was sitting at the edge of my bed. I sat up so I was leaning against the headboard. It suddenly clicked that Jeff let me stay in his room last night

"Good morning sleepy." Matt said with a smile etched on his face.

"Morning, whats going on?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

"Well, we were waiting for you to see if you wanted to maybe go with us for the day." Lita said putting her arms on her thighs as she leaned against them.

"And where are you going?" I asked feeling a bit more awake.

"Since we have a free day and its absolutely beautiful out maybe the zoo or a park. Something outdoors." Matt said with the same smile on his face.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." I said with a smile on my face.

"Great, so we'll let you get ready and then you can meet us in the lobby in like a half hour." Matt said standing from the bed and pulling Lita with him towards the door. I let out a small laugh as I swung my legs to the edge of the bed zso I was in a sitting position. I ran a hand through my hair and let out a small yawn. Jeff chuckled from the other bed. He must have moved after Matt and Lita left.

"So how'd you sleep?" Jeff asked looking at me.

"With my eyes closed." I told him with a smile on my face. He chuckled at my response.

"Okay, I walked right into that one." He said getting up and grabbing his suitcase. I followed suit and grabbed my own suitcase. I proceeded to pull out some jean shorts, a black 'Pantera' shirt, and a pair of black sneakers. I grabbed my stuff and walked to the bathroom to change. After I had my clean clothes on I pulled my hair into a messy bun. Once I was all done I walked back out. When I got back to the beds I realized that Jeff wasn't wearing a shirt. He had his back turned towards me so I took a moment to admire the start of his tattoo. He didn't have much of it done, but he had the outline of what appeared to be branches toward his neck. I quickly snapped my eyes away from his back and put my things away.

"Why did you chose that tattoo?" I asked him softly. Things between us seemed awkward to say the least and I wanted us to have a normal conversation. Jeff turned around and smiled at me before talking.

"Its a little weird but I want it to eventually go all the way down my arm. Its gonna be branches and vines, it kinda symbolizes how life can be messy and get tangled but its still beautiful. I've made a mess of things in my own life and now I just try to find the beauty in everyday." Jeff said as he sat on the edge if my bed, I sat next to him.

"I don't think its weird, I think thats beautiful." I told him with a soft smile.

"Thank you." He said softly while looking down at his hands that were set in his lap. I rested my hand on top of his before I spoke again.

"Not everyone gets the chance to view life that way. Some people just see the messes they've made and the chaos that seems to follow. I wish I could see life the way you do. Maybe one day you could show me." I stared softly at his face as I spoke. Jeff turned his head towards me and stared into my eyes. Looking at this man infront of me just set it in further that I would never be able to have someone as special as him. He had been to the darkness and found his way out, Darkness is all I've ever known and I would risk his happiness for the sake of my own. A part of me begged my mind to shut up and let me have this but I just couldn't. I pulled my hand away from his and broke our stare before I stood up. As I did Jeff let out a sigh.

"Why do you do that?" He asked me as he stood up so he was infront of me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him softly.

"We have these moments where it seems like your interested in more than this weird friendship we have going on, but as soon as it seems like something is gonna happen you run. I just wanna know whats going on." Jeff said from infront of me. Looking at him I could see the pain and frustration in his eyes. I couldn't be the cause of that, i needed to let go of him.

"Don't you think I would have done something by now if I was interested in more?" I asked him as I turned away from him.

"Then look me in the eye and tell me you want nothing more from this. That all you want is for us to be friends."Jeff said defeat clear in his tone. I wanted to cry from the pain in my chest. My heart was literally breaking for this man.

"I can't do that." I said quietly.

"Why not?" He asked softly from behind me.

"Friends don't lie" I said as I turned towards him "you want the truth, here it is. Of course I like you, I'd be a fool if I didn't. But I know my history and I can't put you through the chaos that I cause. My life has been a mess and yet when I look at you I forget about that, but the second I'm left alone e with my thoughts I'm reminded of why this would never work. Just the thought of hurting you breaks my heart and I know you deserve to know the truth. So yeah I like you but I can't have you." I told him as I paced the room. He looked at me with shock on his face after I finished my speech. We just stayed there in silence waiting for the other to speak. After what felt like an eternity Jeff spoke.

"I don't know who hurt you, or who made you feel like you don't deserve happiness but that voice in your head is wrong, but one day you are gonna wake up from that nightmare. And I will be here waiting." Jeff said as he raised a hand towards my cheek. I flinched involuntarily at the action. Jeff's eyes held a softness as he rested his hand on my cheek. I leaned into his touch as I left a soft kiss on his palm.

"I can't ask you to do that." I told his quietly.

"You didn't ask, I'm telling you that one day this will happen. If not in this life time then in the next." He told me. I could stay in this moment forever but this have to end. There was a knock at the door. Jeff let out a sigh as he went to answer it. When he opened the door Matt and Lita were there.

"OH I'm sorry are we interrupting?" Matt said with a smirk. I realized that Jeff hadn't put on a shirt yet. I mentally face palmed. I spoke before Jeff did.

"Nope, let's get this show on the road." I proceeded to throw Jeff a shirt from his suitcase. He caught it with ease and quickly put it on. I grabbed a room key and walked towards the door before I shut it. Matt and Lita were a little ways ahead of us. As I walked side by side with Jeff I grabbed his hand and gave it a light squeeze. As I went to release it he grabbed my hand and intertwined it with mine. I smiled at him as we reached the elevator Matt and Lita were looking at our hands with a smirk on their faces.

"What? Friends can hold hands too." Jeff said to the pair causing them to chuckle. The elevator doors closed and we all prepared for what the day would bring.

A/N

I'm sorry that this took so long, its been a really bad month for me. My grandma passed and my brother overdosed and had to be revived. Not to mention my dad had to have surgery and my other grandparents came back positive for covid. All in all bad month. I'm sorry for posting my sob story I just want to keep you all updated as to why I was gone.

I'm not crazy about this chapter so let me know what you think. What do you wanna see happen. Should Jeff and Kailee end up together? Or should they be with different people? What storylines do you wanna see?

Your feedback is always appreciated

Until next time my lovelies