Shades of Dusk

New Ink

The walk from the pharmacy back towards the dorm is exhausting. Towards, because even though he's been gone all day, he isn't anywhere near ready to go back, yet. It's been approximately six hours since he left his dorm this morning, and he's surprised that his phone hasn't died, mostly due to the blow-up that Kit and Pha caused around break time when they realized that Beam was no longer on campus. He hadn't told them his plan, and even once it was done, he was reluctant to mention it. Still hasn't, in fact.

He wants to show Forth first. He wants to tell Forth first, before anyone else. But he doesn't know where Forth is, and it just makes him drag even slower.

It was kind of odd, now that he thinks about it; at one time, Kit would have been his immediate choice. To tell, to show, to enthuse about the new experience. But now? Now, he honestly doesn't care whether or not Kit finds out; he's more concerned about Forth knowing, Forth's opinion on the copper-colored gear and red cord he's had tattooed on the inside of his wrist. It isn't big, and could probably be hidden by a watch if he wanted, but for now it only has the bandage over it.

The gear it was fashioned after feels like lead around his other wrist.

When had he gone from thinking of Pha and Kit being the two most important people, outside his family, in his life? Because that was what this was boiling down to.

It was all Forth, Forth, Forth in his head, in his heart, climbing and crawling and twisting like a snake through and around his very soul. Smooth and oddly warm and comforting. More than anything, though, was the acknowledgement to the realization that he'd had while the shading had been done.

He was in love with Forth, wholly and completely, and there was an unfortunately high probability that he would never get to tell the man.

Half way between the pharmacy where he finally stops to get what he'll need to help the little tattoo heal and the dorm, he hears a warning rumble; what seems like seconds later he is drenched through in cold rain.

Fuck, just his luck. On top of everything else that has happened to him lately, it seems like being soaked in the rain is just the sort of thing that would happen. He steps under an awning, absolutely miserable as he stares out into the rain. He thinks he sees someone not too far off, but he can't make out who they are. Even if he were to want to call out, before he can even bring about the will to, they're gone into the dark and the rain, leaving him once again alone on the dark road leading to his dorm, barely covered by the awning, staring into the rain.

The past five days have been hell, there's no other way to describe it. He thought he wasn't as invested in the idiot as he thought he was, but that ship sailed a long time ago. He thought, foolishly, that it would be easy to walk away from whatever this was with Forth. But he became fucking invested in the idiot. He came to that scary realization after he accidentally dropped the hammer on Forth's head.

Not... his finest moment. He can still remember the panic, the way all his knowledge had flown from his head, remembers all the fucking blood. That was not ever something he wants to see again. The very thought shakes him to his core.

It's terrifying to think that he might be dramatic enough to actually follow Forth if he...

Well. That wasn't something he was going to think about, right now. It was pointless, wasn't it?

Rather suddenly, a memory from early high school comes back to him; Kit had been sick. Very, very sick; hospitalized, in fact, it got so bad. Upper respiratory infections were no fucking joke. That was the first memory he has of being afraid of losing his best friend. Oh, Pha is his friend; his other best friend. But he's nowhere near as close to Pha as he is to Kit. He thought, at one time, he might actually tear the world down for Kit.