[Del]'s Diary

ENTRY FORTY-NINE

Fill came in my room again today. Humming. I took this as a good sign.

He waved me over with crook of his head, and said, “Let’s scooby.”

I rose from my chair and began to follow, only this time he walked down the opposite end of the hallway that we had not been down before.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Showers,” he said. “Doc gave you the a-okay.”

I smiled, feeling rather all grown-up at the idea, and then hated myself for being grateful to Fill and the Doc.

We winded our way through the maze of the building. Finally, Fill opened a door to a small bathroom large enough for a toilet, sink and shower stall. No mirror. The walls were cement block painted in semi-gloss cream.

Fill looked at me apologetically, “I can’t leave you alone, but you can change in the stall and toss me your jumper.”

I nodded and walked in, sliding the glass door behind me. As I took off my jumper, I could see that Fill had turned his back to me and I felt a little less anxious. Perhaps he isn’t as skeevy as I’ve made him out to be.

“Don’t forget to scrub between your toes,” he called over his shoulder, and I took this for some weird flirtation.

I turned on the water as piping hot as I could get it and let it pelt my back. I turned as I scrubbed my scalp and then caught a diffused reflection of myself in the door.

I stared for a moment as the steam obliterated it. I couldn’t make myself out. The features were like blobs. I wiped the fog off the pane, but the light was too strong and my reflection just wasn’t sharp enough to make it out.

Through the glass, I could see Fill had hung a towel on the handle. “Are you going to be in there all night?” he called, still standing with his back to me.

I laughed, “I might,” but I turned off the water soon after, hoping my consideration of him will spawn more trips to the shower. Fill awkwardly handed me a new jumper with his back still turned as I toweled off.

We were silent on the way back. And then I finally built the courage to ask, “What do I look like?”

Fill stopped in his tracks and glanced over at me. “Well, let me see.” He scrutinized my face closely. “Your face is nice enough...if it wasn't for that third eye in the middle.”

“Really,” I said, unimpressed with his joke.

Fill laughed, “I can’t describe what you look like.” He started walking again.

“What color are my eyes at least?” I called out after him.

“Blue.”

“And my hair?”

“You don’t have any.”

“Before?" 

“Whatever it was, it wasn’t your natural color,” he snickered. He rounded the corner and I followed behind him back to my room not wanting to know how he knew that.

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