The Art of Breaking (Finished)

Prologue

The Art of Breaking
by eurekaa

P r o l o g u e

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I was just patiently waiting at the sidewalk near the 5-star class hotel where I attended a party with Arran. Hindi naman kasi sana ako aattend sa sosyal na party na iyon kasi first: it was a very elegant party in which the invited guests were elite people of the society and lastly, a lot of the De Leon-slash-Dela Vega clan were attending the party - so me, being a middle class-average person would absolutely feel out of place. Pero mapilit kasi si Arranio eh, gusto niyang magkasama kaming dalawa dahil masasakal lang daw siyang harapin ang mga kamag-anak niya.

I took a deep breath and sighed. It was already late in the evening. Malamig din ang hangin sa gabing iyon but Arran gave me his black coat earlier so I felt a little warm already.

Bigla namang may lumabas na kababaihan mula sa hotel. All of them are in their middle 40's. Kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko, mga kamag-anak din ito ni Arran. Lahat sila ay nag-uusap at nagtatawanan pa.

"Have you seen iyong nobya na dinala ni Arran sa party?"

"I did. Ipinakilala pa niya nga ulit sa amin. She's familiar already, siya naman kasi laging dinadala ng binatang iyon sa mga party. They're like dating for five years, already, right?"

"Yeah. What was her job again? A government employee in Department of Agriculture?"

"I believe na law student din daw siya. But from that cheap dress and aura, she's lying. Probably a gold-digger."

Napangiti na lang ako at napailing nang marinig iyon sa mga kamag-anak niya. Dumaan kasi ang mga ito sa gilid ko. May mga magagarang kotse rin kasing nakapark sa harapan ng hotel.

I already got used to it. When his relatives are thinking that I am a gold-digger at pera lang ang habol ko kay Arran. Simula yata nang maging kami, iyan na ang laging sinasabi nila sa akin. Sino ba kasing mag-aakalang magkakagusto sa 'kin si Arranio? I'm even older than him by three years - as what his relatives would describe, enough to be his sugar mommy. Other than, I'm not even a model-figure like or even model-face person. Plus, hindi ako mayaman. I just came from a middle-class family na siyang tumutulong din sa mga gastusin sa bahay.

Minsan, sa loob ng limang taon ng relasyon namin, nahihiya ako. Nahihiya ako para kay Arran. I'm nothing to be even proud of. I felt embarrased for him especially if he would introduce me to his family and relatives as his girlfriend. Ni hindi naman ako maganda o mayaman.

Sometimes, I just... feel insecure.

While my boyfriend has everything that I could ask for, a kind, caring and a handsome quarter-French gentleman - I'm the complete opposite. Sometimes, I would even think too that he deserves some other woman who's better than me. At least a woman who could put up with his level. A woman who would never give him hard times and headaches. A woman who isn't insecure.

Someone who would love him better than me.

"Attorney De Leon."

Napatigil naman ako at nakita si Arranio na papalapit na ngayon sa 'kin. I just shook my head and laughed, "Ang advance mo mag-isip ha." I told him playfully when he was already in front of me. He also chuckled with what I said as well. I couldn't help but to stare at his very handsome face. Sino ba talaga kasing mag-aakala na ang gwapong lalake na 'to ay magkakagusto sa isang katulad ko? Minsan, sumasang-ayon na lang din ako sa mga sinasabi ng iba na ginayuma ko siya eh.

"Tara na. Nagbayad pa kasi ako ng overnight parking sa hotel that's why I was late." He immediately held my hand as I just smiled. We were intertwining our fingers as we were walking towards the nearest terminal. Sinabihan ko kasi siya na magjejeep lang ako papauwi at huwag na niya ako ihatid. Nakakahiya kasi minsan lalo na kapag dumadating kami sa apartment ko gamit ang Range Rover Velar niya. Magchichismiss na naman tungkol sa 'min ang mga kapitbahay ko doon.

Dumating na rin kami sa terminal ng mga jeep. We rode in an empty jeepney first hanggang sa napuno na ito ng mga iba pang pasahero. Hindi ko naman maiwasang matawa. Nakaformal attire kasi kaming dalawa sa loob ng jeep tapos iyong ibang pasahero, panay tingin sa 'min. Sa boyfriend ko lang pala.

Umandar na rin yung jeep. Napansin ko naman si Arran nagsisimula ng pawisan. I couldn't help but to smile. Ganito kasi siya lagi tuwing nagjejeep kami, madaling naiinitan sa loob. Sinasabihan ko rin naman siya na okay lang na hindi na niya ako sasamahan sa pagcocommute ko - pero hindi talaga nagpapatalo ang mokong. He would always insist na samahan ako lagi.

Kinuha ko naman iyong panyo ko at pinunasan ang noo niya, "Iyong likod mo," sabi ko at kaagad naman niyang ipinaharap ng konti ang likod niya sa 'kin. Pinunasan ko rin iyon. Hirap na hirap talaga kasi siya tuwing sumasakay kami ng jeep. Mainit pa kasi siksikan tapos idagdag na ang 6'5 ft na height niya kaya lagi siyang nakayuko habang nakasakay.

"Thank you, baby," He told me softly after I was done. I just smiled at him.

"Matulog ka muna. Gigisingin na lang kita kapag dumating na tayo." He added. Tumango lang ako at inihilig na ang ulo ko sa may balikat niya. I felt his arm wrapping around me.

I closed my eyes. But then after a few minutes, I whispered his name, "Arranio."

"Yes, Miranda?"

I just smiled. But it was a sad smile.

"What if maghiwalay tayo tapos makakahanap ka ng mas better pa sa 'kin?" I randomly asked him.

"Miranda," I could feel his voice was frustrated. Madalas ko kasi siyang tinatanong sa mga ganung mga bagay nitong mga nakaraang linggo. I don't know... I just felt something different is going to happen between us soon, "Hindi iyon mangyayari. I'm turning twenty-five next year and I'm going to marry you."

I just sighed silently.

"Je t'aime,"  he suddenly said in French.

I smiled, "Je t'aime."

Someday, I'm hoping someone will love you better than me.

And you'll let me go.

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This story is inspired by the song 'Let me go' by Hailee Stainfeld.
This story is also inspired by one of the author's friends.