The Fire That Sparked My Soul- Newtmas AU

Chapter Five

♫Faded by Alan Walker, Conor Maynard's cover.

~Please ignore the rap part in the song, I can't find the version without it on YouTube but it's on Spotify.

Newt's POV

Tuesday, 13th of February 2018.

Ten years ago, my dad passed away. 

There's so much pain inside of me, and I can't take it alone. I'm too weak to fight my battles right now. My shield is down and I'm more vulnerable than ever. I've been crying for hours without end, memories of my dad replaying over and over in my head.

When I was six, I remember playing football with him at the park. He would always let me score so I wouldn't be upset when I didn't. When I missed by miles, we would start laughing and joking about it. My dad was a funny person and now, looking back on it, I miss his terrible jokes and his amazing sense of humour.

When I was seven, I remember we baked cupcakes in the kitchen when mum was it work. Dad put the mixer on at a really high setting and the cake mixture went everywhere. I t went up the walls and all over the cooker. Some of it even went on us. There was a moment of horror on our faces  but it turned into roars of laughter only moments later.

When I was eight, I remember he bought me a Play Station for my birthday and let me play eighteens like Grand Theft Auto when mum wasn't around. I also got really good at Call of Duty and I kicked his ass at it. Whenever his character was killed, he would say "God damn you, Newt. You will rue this day." I would always laugh at him until it hurt. 

They will always be my favourite memories of him because they're the ones that keep him alive. However, everything started to change.

When I was nine, my dad started to become weaker. He started looking frail and miserable. He and mum sat me down in the living room and spoke t o me softy and gently. I didn't know what was happening, but I knew it was serious.

"Son, I need to tell you something," there were tears in his eyes, threatening to spill. "There's no easy way to tell you this, but I have cancer."

I was frozen, still looking my dad in the eye. My bottom lip quivered and I cried-howled, actually. I felt like I couldn't breathe and my world was collapsing. I wanted the earth to swallow me up.

Dad stayed at home for six months even though he was terribly ill. We used to sit in the living room, playing games on the PS. Nothing changed though, we still laughed until we cried. I knew these were going to be one of the last happy moments I had with him.

One day when I got home from school, he wasn't there. My mum ushered me into the car and we drove to the hospital. I barely even recognized my dad anymore. He wasn't happy, but he always made an effort for me. He didn't want me to see him like that, but there was nothing from preventing it.

Six months he spent in that same ward, hardly eating or moving. We all knew he just wanted to go. Those last few days we had together were so precious. He held my hand and we talked for hours about school and sports, occasionally laughing.

The last day he lived was the hardest. dad's eyes were glassy and his breathing was shallow. We all knew what was coming, but it was only a matter of time.

"Newt," there was a long pause while he fought back tears and tried to breath evenly. "I love you more than anything, son. The day you were born, I held you in my arms and watched you sleep. I knew you were going to grow up being strong, brave and caring. Whatever happens, Newt, take care of your mum, and look after yourself. You only ever deserve the best. When you're older, whoever you turn out to be, know that I will always love you and will always be watching you. You're never alone. I love you to the end of the universe and back, Newt."