This Is Us( A Linstead Story)

chapter 121-never get enough

(Jay was laying ontop of Erin, tracing every outline there was on her body as she was talking to him, with the afternoon sky singing through the window jay left open)

E<"and I still remember it, minute by minute"(she chuckled)

J<"I couldn't even imagine what you were like as a kid"(he started tracing the hickey he made on her collarbone)

E<"i was bad,(they started laughing),I remember when I was at least 10,(she was playing with his hair),my mom had one of her boyfriends over,(jay laughed),and uh...he was about to hit me. Teddy wasn't home he was at my mom's friends house, and I kicked him in his shin. The one little thing that I knew as a kid was to kick a bad guy in the shin, and I did.,(she got quiet),my mom taught me that. As he tried to get me I kicked him extra hard in the other one and ran out of the house. Disobeyed the rules of leaving the house under different circumstances. Another time, my mom's like 14th boyfriend, we had to live with him for a couple months but that didn't go as planned"

J<"what did badass Erin do then"?(he laughed)

E<"he worked for those aquarium pleaces, and you know how you would get a fish in a bag of water after you buy them"?

J<"mhm"(he smiled)

E<"well, I found this stray cat on the side of the street and I took it inside. Now my mom's boyfriend never liked cats, along with me and teddy. So I let the cat out down in the basement where all those bags off fish were for his job and the cat popped all of them. Saw all goldfish plopping up and down on the ground which, Lord forgive me was terrible but what's done was done. I fed all those dead fish to the pirannahs"(she laughed)

J<"oh my god,(he laughed hard),are you serious"?

E<"yeah"(she grinned smally)

J<"dude, you are..(he looked up at her),the funniest,(he saw a tear fall down her face),babe? What's wrong"?

E<"it's just,(she sniffled in),my mom, throughout all those things she put me through, and for never caring about me and teddy...im gonna have to live without a mom. But even past that, after the days she found me unconscious,(jay tensed),from her boyfriends,(her lip started quivering),she never noticed it was effecting me like that. But still to this day,(more tears fell),I still care about her. And I don't know why, or what about her so I care about"

J<"babe, she's your mom"(he wiped her tears away but more kept coming)

E<"I just, I still see her standing over me in a hospital bed, and telling me she should've just had an abortion like my dad said,(she looked down),and if she did...it would have been good"

J<"babe don't say that"(he highered himself)

E<"I wouldn't have to feel the guilt when seeing her and reminding myself that she is my biological mom and how she never gave a crap about me, and- and how I gave her so much. My job money, my drugs, my life and all I got back was mg lifetime getting abused by guys who used her for sex and money, I just..,(she covered her eyes with her hands),i don't know.."

J<"er,(he sat up and pulled her ontop of him),babe look at me,(she rested her head on his shoulder),Erin, please look at me,(she did),what you feel, isn't true, your shouldn't feel that way. The guilt isn't on you, and that constant reminder of what happened is showing you that you are way much better then she is,(he moved a strand of hair out of her way),that's shows you know how to control it"

E<"some part of me cares and the other part doesn't want to, but she is still my mom. There are days where I want her to die, but then there are other days were...she is my mom and if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have met my dad, blood or not, and then I wouldn't have gotten a gift to spend the rest of my life with you,(she looked at him),I love you"(with the look jay was giving Erin she knew, deeply inside of jays heart, he loved her so much, so she didn't need to hear it. She can see it)

J<"I'm going to make you some tea okay"?(he rubbed her thigh)

E<"tea sounds nice,(She smiled. Jay got off the bed but she grabbed his hand and pulled him back),come here,(she connected their lips for a comforting kiss. To let eachother know they can talk to one another, to lean on eachother and most importantly to love eachother. She pulled away and smiled),now you can go make me some tea"

J<"and mrs.Halstead is back"(he smiled as he walked out of the bedroom and to the kitchen)

E<"ah"(she fell back against the bed and and held the sheets against her body. She just stared at the ceiling and smiled. How did she become so lucky to have such an amazing man to be her husband)

J<"hey er"(he yelled from the kitchen)

E<"yeah"?

J<"come here,(she rolled out of the bed and threw on one of his shirts, nothing else and walked out of the bedroom to jay holding something in his hand),did you see this when we came here"?

E<"what is it"?(she crossed her arms over her chest)

J<"a plamflet for stuff all over the carribean"

E<"what is it"?(she asked as she rested an arm on his shoulder and read the pamflet with him)

J<"there is swimming with the sharks, water rafting, bungy jumping, jumping out of a plane, scuba diving, many other fun stuff"

E<"sounds like loads of fun, what else"?

J<"there are parties every sunday.."(She looked at him full of excitement)

E<"today's Sunday, when and where"?

J<"tonight at 9, at Santo Domingo"

E<"can we go"?

J<"yeah, of course you wanna go"?

E<"um yeah...we won't be stuck in the house all night"

J<"alright, well,(he looked at his watch),we got 45 minutes"

E<"let's get ready now. Wanna just walk there"

J<"I mean where gonna have to, we don't have a car"(he smiled)

E<"ha ha very funny,(she lightly slapped his chest),let's go"(She squealed and jumped up)