I wake, almost forgetting where I am because it doesn't seem to matter. But I am in my bedroom which is normally cold, but Carol's body against mine supplied me with infinite warmth. Our legs dishevelled as if they would never be separated. Her arms acted as a fortress, her entire body felt as if it was carved of marble. Her eyes are closed and I am not sure what hour it is, or even what day of the week. I bring my hand to her cheek and sweep my thumb gently under her eye, her hand meets mine, she brings me to her lips and kisses my hand. She then fell back into her restful haze. I never wanted to leave the confines of her arms or the sanctuary of this bed. It was all too much like a dream and I was fearful of the ending. Her hand was still linked to mine, I look down at her nails the same red tint that they always were. I can feel my heart in my chest, I can't help but imagine what it would be like if we were to live together? Would this be what every morning would serenade me with? How could I ever tire from this? I bring my face close to her neck so that her perfume would greet me, it had faded a little but it still lingered in glory. I can't avoid stirring because the whole thing was overwhelming. I emerged from the bed, realising my nakedness I reach for my dressing robe and string it over my body, tying it loosely and I head to the kitchenette. I would make coffee but I didn't want to wake Carol, so I settled for warm milk. I poured the milk from the pan and added a sugar cube. The sweetness stung in the morning, it seemed to drag out the fantasy I was living, making it feel childlike. I head to my bathroom with the steaming mug of milk and turn the hot water on. I drape my feet into the pool that fills and sip at my drink. I close my eyes and recreate Carol's slumber in my mind and I can feel a smile flood my face. I place my mug on the shelf in the bathroom and untie my robe letting it fall revealing my shoulders, back and chest.
"So" her softness startled me, I turn suddenly aware of how exposed I was. "Last night was new." Carol had been awake long enough to light a cigarette and haul a dressing gown on. "But then again so is this." I see her eyes lower down my body and her eyes seem occupied with light. She was always beautiful, especially without makeup. Carol walks towards me and I see her legs flutter with each step and I know she is as naked as I am. She holds out her cigarette towards me, I take it and pull lightly, emitting smoke from my mouth.
"Sorry, did I make you feel uncomfortable?" I ask but fear the response. Carol's laugh was humble as she took back her cigarette. She drops her robe to the floor and her whole body revives me.
"Do I act like I am uncomfortable?" I shake my head shyly, in awe of her once again. Carol came closer and kissed my shoulders as she lifted the robe from my waist to reveal my unabridged body. We slipped into the water that had filled my bath. We just lay there, her arms around my nakedness, as we smoked and spoked and laughed. I reach for my mug, offer it to her and she takes a sip. I replace the mug on the shelf and turn to find her running her fingers through her hair. I thought it were ridiculous, as if she wanted to make herself look presentable without realising that she looked astounding. So I splash the water in her direction and it flicks onto her face and hair. For a second she looked at me intensely, before rupturing into laughter. "For God's sake, can't one take a bath in peace?" She wiped the water from her face and I try to speak through my laughter.
"As I recall, you were the one interrupting my bath." She frowned in my direction, but her smile was a tease.
"I don't remember it quite like that." Her smile flourished and her cheeks flushed.
"Oh no? How do you remember it?" I could hear my playfulness echo through my voice and body.
"I awoke without you in my arms, only to find you perched on the bath, barely dressed and beautiful. Only wearing a blissful smile. An alluring temptation, by any means." I can feel myself blushing, smiling foolishly. Carol reached towards me to press her lips against mine, her hand resting my chin. We got out of the bath one at a time, to wrap a towel against our bodies to retain the heat from the warm drips of water. I went into my bedroom and began to lay out an outfit. It was another dress which I had newly bought, I was somewhat conscious as I wanted Carol to like it. Once I had settled on it my eyes were drawn to Carol's clothes which were till on the floor. I picked them up and stretched them out against the duvet to minimise the creases. I pulled her dressing gown beside the clothes. I paused and breathed in the material. It smelt like her, her bare skin and perfume. It was like the scent of the bathroom door opening after she had a long hot shower. It was warm and welcoming like a greeting of an old friend, but it was so much more. "So", I was suddenly alerted by her blissful tone and wondered how long she had been watching. She had a fresh cigarette in hand, not yet lit. "What are we going to do with your things when you move in?" Her question was followed by her cigarette being ignited between her lips, how accurate it seems. Carol walked towards me her legs exposed as she clung to her towel with one hand.
"Forgive me", my tone subtly frisky, "but I do not remember agreeing to such an extravagant demand." I drew on the cigarette and she focused on me intensely.
"I must have misread last night then?" Carol turned away, walking to the bed barefoot. She sat on the edge of the mattress and leant her head against her palm, as her elbow perched on her thigh. Released her towel and lay down on the bed, crossing her legs which were now angled towards me. "But it seemed to me that you were... open to suggestion." Her towel fell, exposing her body one more time. Each part of her was a drop of water culminating to form a river, unpredictable, fluid and ever changing. She stroked part of the mattress beside her, where she wanted me to be. "I miss Therese. I miss holding you, loving you. So hush now and let me love you." I drew one last time on my cigarette before rubbing the remains in an ash tray. Entranced and awakened by her I slip beside her, leaving my towel behind.
"Carol?" Lying beside her, together, breathing the same air. We were so close, we were almost one. Our rhythmic minds beating with harmonious direction. "What would we do, if we were to live together?"
"What do you mean, darling?" She brought her hand up to my cheek and brushed my hair behind my ear. Her eyes were so fixed upon mine, they were a beautifully composed blue with grey undertones. I brushed my hand along her bare stomach to her hip, I made patterns with my fingers along her skin. Her body was angled to face me and her face softened at my touch.
"If we were to live together, what would we do?"
"That would depend on the time of day and perhaps some other human factors." She smiled and glanced down at my body, feeling rapidly exposed. But I can't help but laugh, I liked it when it became obvious she wanted me.
"I'm being serious." I pulled her closer to me from her waist and she wrapped her hands around the back of my neck. Our smiles united and she ran her fingers through the back of my hair.
"Hopefully more of this, more of you." She paused, inhaling deeply taking a part of me with her. "More of the same, with something new."
"New?" I could hear my youthfulness, as if I have been reborn into a new world of endeavours. Amorous endeavours, our only question is: which one do we take first?
"New. Something, anything. New trips, new photos... of us perhaps." There was a spark in her voice which was exhilaratingly hopeful. "We could spend nights together and mornings and days, if that is what you would like? What would you like?"
"I would like you, for now and for ever and for every in between." Our faces were inches away but out bodies were so close. Her warmth was my guidance. I could feel myself falling and I wonder what will happen, how people will see us. Carol and I don't look like those women who love women, so perhaps it will be easier. Yet I wonder nonetheless, will they continue their pursuit to destroy us? Would they try to tear us away from the world? Could they ever tear us apart from one another? I feel, however, that this is the strongest we have been. But with one touch from the world we could still crumble. I think Carol saw my face drop, my thoughts of isolation must have met hers.
"Let them marvel at us, Therese." She held my face in her hands with an intense and securing glance. She kissed me once again and again, scattering them over my body.
They can marvel at us, I thought, because we are marvels to the world.
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Resolutions | Carol
Fanfiction(A fanfic sequel of the movie adaptation of Carol, staring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara) (Sexual Content) Carol had once chose Therese, from a crowd of many, all of the women she could have had she chose Therese. Time had passed and secrets had un...
