I woke, and the bed was cooling, but Carol wasn't there. I got up and the wooden floor was cold against my feet. I left the bedroom to find Carol sat at the Kitchen table with paper, a pen and an unlit cigarette. Her head was pressed firmly into her palm and her hair draped around her like a halo. I put my hand on her shoulder and she startled.
"Sorry." She put her hand on mine.
"No, it's quite alright."
"Usually when I wake up in a cool bed it's at home"
"Sorry I was just, planning something to say, how to tell Abby." She shook her head and brought her cigarette to life.
"We don't have to do it today, or at all."
"I think we should."
"What have you told Abby?"
"That I have been unwell." She inhaled deeply, slowly exhaling the smoke.
"As for Danny and Phil. I will talk to them, if you're uncomfortable."
"Thank you, but could we prepare things to say... together?" Her voice was the same as when she had asked me to go on the trip with her, nervous almost.
"We will do everything concerned with this together. You won't be alone again." She looked down, dragging on her cigarette. "I think you should invite Abby over." I pause, Carol passes me her cigarette and I draw on it. "That way you're in a safe space. I can open the door and let her in. That way her reaction won't be so..."
"Public?"
"Yeah, public." Taking a moment, because I am afraid my next question will be dismissed or challenged. "About what Harge did. Do you want to talk about it? How you're feeling?"
"Sickened, guilty, angered. I should have stopped him. But somehow things like that don't cross your mind. I felt frozen. I close my eyes and he is there, in a drunken rage."
"Don't you dare. You are not to blame, Carol." I sit beside her and hold her hand. "He loved you once, but that is not an act of love, it is an act of violence. Do not ever put this on yourself. I shouldn't have suggested he stay and I am sorry for that."
"Therese, you were trying to help. I do not blame you." I pass her cigarette back. "Do you think it is more tolerable because I have slept with him in the past?"
"Tolerable? No! Bottom line is, you didn't want to. Just because you felt a certain way in the past doesn't make you less entitled to current feelings." She gasps on the cigarette once more before putting it out.
"I did love him, perhaps for Rindy's sake, but I did. I still care, which infuriates me." Of course you care, I thought. He helped bring Rindy into the world and that is so important. But Carol, no one needs to be misused. Please do not be angry at your emotions. "If I go and ring Abby, will you make breakfast?"
"Of course." I smile at her, lean in to kiss her cheek, and head to the refrigerator. I take out some eggs and put them in water to boil. While they sit I hear murmurs of Carol talking, so I walk away and head to the black room. I take out the film of my camera, ready to develop after breakfast. I prepare everything, so we will have the photos as soon as possible. I walk back to the kitchen and fish out the eggs, placing them in egg cups with pieces of toast cut into rectangles. I knew Carol liked eggs, but she would always brush her teeth straight afterwards. I place the plates on the table and she walked in, ruffling her hair.
"Thank you." Pressed her lips against mine. "For everything." And she began to tap at her eggshell with a spoon.
"So how did you get my address?" She said smiling.
YOU ARE READING
Resolutions | Carol
Fanfiction(A fanfic sequel of the movie adaptation of Carol, staring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara) (Sexual Content) Carol had once chose Therese, from a crowd of many, all of the women she could have had she chose Therese. Time had passed and secrets had un...
