Resolutions | Carol

Realisations

She stood, not as I remember her. She wore a long sleeve shirt and slacks, with a scarf covering her neck. Her face, fell when she saw me, I knew why. Carol's face was bruised with a blackened eye, she was ashamed and startled. She tried to slam the door, but I wedged my foot to stop her from hiding. I pushed the door back open. "Carol" My voice was timid like a child, afraid. She turned her face away and I walk into her apartment, closing the door behind me. "What happened?" She said nothing, rotating her body and walked away. I followed her to a room which had two sofas, it was a large room which was well decorated. She sat with her back towards me.

"Did you get my gift?" She sounded so distant I feared I would never find her.

"Never mind that! Did he do this to you?" She said nothing, but I heard her breath break into irregularities. She began to cry, I place my hand on her shoulder and sat opposite her. She recoiled at my touch.

"I didn't want you to see me like this."

"I want to see you, you shouldn't hide yourself because of this." I bring my hand to her face which had been marked by force. "What did he do to you? Carol you need to tell me." She inhaled deeply, preparing herself.

"Harge came over to my apartment and everything was fine. But then he drank to much and got hostile and-" Her voice tethered off.

"Did he just hit you?" She shook her head, her eyes closed, biting her lip. "Show me?" Her hands rose to her neck, trembling, removing her scarf revealing purple marks where his mouth had been. She then unbuttoned her shirt, bruised marked her hips. She slipped her shirt from her shoulders and arms, her wristed marked from wear he had grabbed her too forcefully. Tears fell like boulders and she didn't look at me. She then moved her hands down to her slacks. "Stop." I said. I met her hands with mine and her eyes opened, looking downwards.

"Are you ashamed Therese?" She swallowed air harshly.

"Yes." Her eyes scrunched up again. I leaned in and kissed her lips, which were salty with tears. "I am ashamed of Harge, not of you." I held her face in my hands and kissed her blackened eye gently. I pull myself away from her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Her eyes were flooded with past pain, surprise and endearment.

"I love you, Therese. I am sorry -"

"Don't say that! You don't need to justify anything."

"I don't suppose you could ignore all of this? The bruises, I mean. Could you think of me the same way as you had?"

"I can't ignore them Carol, but my feelings for you are unchanged." She leaned in and kissed me. I place my lips on each and every mark that has stained her. She pulled me back up to her level and kissed me repeatedly, intertwining my mouth with hers. Carol shifted her weight, so she was lying down with me on top of her. I undid her slacks with one hand, parting my lips from hers as I move myself down. I slip her trousers off; her thighs were marked purple and yellow. Her eyes were closed, not wanting to see my reaction. I bring my lips to the bruise, lightly placing them down trying not to hurt her. Her eyes opened, stunned. I brought myself back up and kissed her mouth once more. "You are unchanged, and I love you the same way as I always have."

"My angel." She pressed my face into her neck, kissing my skin. I sat up, my legs either side of her as her hands fiddled with the buttons of my shirt, shuffling it off my arms, revealing my body. I then unzipped my skirt and rolled it down. "You are still as beautiful as the day I met you." On of her hands wrapped around my waist and the other on my chest just beneath my throat. I paced my hands slowly up her bare chest and down to her stomach recurrently, taking extra care over her bruises.

"Likewise," I said. Leaning down to kiss her, her hands rolling up my back. I lowered myself, parting her legs and kissed her thighs. Her body warm against my mouth. I was gentle, and her hand ruffled through my hair to hold a fistful. I was so gentle, because I didn't want to hurt her. Her gasps stuttered, I look up at her one hand covering her face. But I could see her eyes swell with tears and her mouth grew into a smile, encouraging me furthermore. Her smile seemed to make everything normal, she seemed more herself. I could recognise her, and I knew that everything would be alright. She trembled beneath my touch, her legs squirming, she thrust her head back into the pillow of the sofa.

"I love you." Her voice was soft and almost untraceable, but her words echoed through me as she let out a final gasp. Her breathing became more like panting, slowing with every exhale. I brought myself up and she pushed my hair from my face and kissed me slowly. She held me once more.

"we'll get through this. We'll get that bastard, and we'll get your daughter back. I promise you."  She held me so tightly, but I felt no pain. She embedded her face in my neck. I felt her warmth and wanted it to last forever.