Resolutions | Carol

Retribution

I threw the headphones away from my ears, choking on guilt. I couldn't escape the feeling that this was my fault. The volume and hatred in his voice repulsed me; Carol is now alone somewhere, facing it in solitude. Somewhere.

"I think I know where she is." Practically gagging, I look up at Abby through flooded eyes.

"Here," She said with her palm open to her set of car keys, "take the car and go find her." I took the keys from her palm, they were heavy and junky.

"Aren't you coming?" Abby shook her head slowly. "It isn't my place, now go!" I clenched my fist around her car keys and took to the stairs, hurling myself faster and faster until the fresh air struck my face. I sprinted to Abby's car, people watching my madness unfold on the sidewalk. I unlocked her car and started the engine. I had enjoyed driving, I learnt how to drive with Carol on our trip, but this was not leisure this felt like life or death. I pressed the gas pedal as far down as possible and drove out in the direction I assumed she would have taken. It physically did not take long to reach the bridge, but in my mind it spanned over hours. Each traffic light, every slow driver made me a little more anxious. But I found it, the tunnel and the bridge. Carol's car was parked at a layby, I could see her standing on the bridge which created the tunnel. I parked up and dashed outside, running up the mound of dirt to reach her. This was, of course, the tunnel we had first drove under. This was the where I first imagined our future. I had hoped the tunnel would swallow us, collapse onto the car so that people may have found us lying together. The only way we could possible lie together, united in death as they would see it. To my surprise she was wearing her coat and she smoked into the sky which had started to darken.

"How long have you been here?" My voice was relieved to see her, Carol turned to me, her face was unmarked by tears.

"The whole time." She placed the cigarette between her lips and inhaled. "Did you listen to the tape?" I nodded, my eyes on the ground trying to avoid hers. "Come here." She said, opening her coat letting me take refuge. She wrapped her arms around me and I embellished myself in her warmth. "I'm sorry I left without explanation, but I had to go and think by myself for a while." I placed my ear against her chest and listened to her heart. "I had to consider what was best for you." She inhaled on the cigarette once more. I pulled myself from her, my mind lingering in her embrace.

"Best for me?"

"You heard what Harge said before he left." She looked down and exhaled smoke.

"I don't care. The one way he could have hurt me was by hurting you, he has used up all of his options." Carol passed me her cigarette and I glance at her lipstick marks before putting it between my lips.

"You remembered this tunnel?" I nod, exhaling.

"The first time we were together." I could feel my worry shift with a sigh. "I knew at that moment."

"You knew what, exactly?"

"That things would be different." I dragged on the cigarette one more time before passing it back. "I didn't know how, but I knew something had changed." Carol kissed me on the forehead.

"So did I." Carol looked onto the highway, where the traffic had dulled. "Abby leant you her car?" She asked chuckling.

"Yes, so I better return it in one piece." I started to laugh too, the tension had been broken like a knife through warm butter. I felt my shoulders recline into their usual position.

"Well we should get going then." Carol linked her arm with mine and walked me to Abby's car, before settling into her own. We continued down the highway a little longer before we found a junction to turn around in. We then parked outside our building. I waited for Carol to catch up and I held the door open for her. "Let's take the elevator." She said as we walked past the main desk. Carol pressed the button to summon the lift. It arrived with a ping and the cage swung open. We both walked in at the same time and Carol pressed the correct floor number. She stood opposite me, looking at her shoes, I waited for her to speak. I could feel her holding her breath. "I will never leave you without an explanation, not again." She said looking up from her stance, her hands moved from the railing as she walked towards me. She kissed my mouth softly, cradling my chin so subtly that it could have gone unnoticed. She drew away from me, her hair drifting across her neck, I grabbed part of her blouse and pulled her to my mouth again. Carol's face was stunned.