Trusting Logan

Chapter 21

hi my cutie patooties! i know i took forever but you guys should thank junelove591...she is the reason i am posting (: so soon...hahaha

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recap: Logan and Ambs have there heart to heart [super cute if i do say so myself]

Then Adam kisses Amber in front of Logan [that was super sad]

NOW!!!!!!!!

A week goes by and I don't talk to Logan once. He completely ignores me and I try apologizing to him but I know that my apologies are stupid because I am still Adam's girlfriend and all. I try and ignore the knots I get in my stomach every time I am with Adam because I feel guilty for doing this to him, but every time I try bringing myself to say I can't see him anymore it seems like a bad time. How do you break up with someone at school or on the beach? It seems to public. If I broke up with him at school then every person who walked by him and me would know that we split up. If I break up with him at the beach, I would never be able to go to the beach without remembering how I had broken up with Adam at the beach. If I go to his house then his sister and family would know I broke up with him.

I go to school on Monday morning following in my daily routine. I hop into Josh's car and ignore Josh and Jennifer being disgustingly sweet the whole ride. I don't particularly like Jennifer but she is different with my brother. I can tell she actually likes him and she makes an effort to be nice to me or be not mean to me, which in Jennifer world is the same thing. I walk up to group and see Logan ignoring me, and Adam smiling with sparkling green eyes. He leans down and kisses me full on the lips and Logan stands there just watching. I blush and try to look like I actually love Adam kissing me in front of everyone when I secretly think pda is tacky and that Logan is a better kisser. After this, the morning bell rings and Adam walks me to class. We sit together at lunch with Emily, Tyler, Cody, Josh, Jennifer, Rick, and of course Logan. He usually sits alone well without a sluty girl, which I won't complain about. Whenever our eyes meet, he turns away really quickly or just stares at me with a sad heartbroken look. I am not sure whether I like it better when he ignores me or just gives the stare, but I think I like the sad stare because at least this way he acknowledges my presence. When lunch is over Adam takes my hand and walks me to class. He gives me a kiss right before I enter into the classroom. After school, I stand at the parking lot waiting for Josh, as always he takes forever, and we drive straight home. I run up the stairs and look at the room across mine. I walk a little closer, hear music playing, and smell Logan. I debate on whether I should just go and say sorry or just accept his ignorance as the answer.

Walking into my room, I collapse on my bed, thinking about what a mess I have made of everything. I have no idea why I thought that being with Logan was going to make all my problems go away. I mean my problems are still the same as those that I had realized I had on the football field after the big game. I guess I thought if I was happy then I could face them or something. Sighing I walk into my closet and pull out my oil paints. I let the numb feeling I have take over me and paint the beautiful night sky I can see from the back window in my closet. I know, odd to have a closet with a window, but my closet is bigger than my room, so really is it that surprising to find a window in it too? I guess that is something I should thank my mom for. She was the one who had them make me a window in my closet so I could get some "natural light" and maybe some color for my pale skin.

I paint until my hands are covered with the beautiful blues and purples of the night sky and my eyes are drooping from exhaustion. I finally finish at three in the morning when I curl up into bed.