It's night now and the house echoes with emptiness. I have been staring out the window for a while, numb.
Do you ever look at the empty night sky and feel so insignificant, so lonely? We all live such insignificant lives on an insignificant planet. I can't afford to think that there is no point to all of this. I read once that there is no point to life if we don't do something remarkable with it. I tried my something remarkable and I failed. So, what now?
I glance out at the star-speckled sky. The sky is laden with secrets tonight. It holds so many promises and wishes. I can't fool myself with the pretense that they will come true.
I open the window a crack and hear the wind crying - It wails and sighs as it rushes past on its never-ending journey. I feel like that wind today, with its sorrow and anguish. I wish I could make it stop, but I can't.
I lie back on the bed and think of Cam. Has a gap been wedged between us? I don't want to lose him, but all I seem to do is to push him away. I don't want our memories and our friendship to just be 'we used to'.
Life is moments. Life is simply moving from one moment to the next - Practise. Audition. Fail. Cry. Gain a friend. Loose a friend. Contemplate. Suffocate.
Losing a best friend is like suffocation. It's losing all oxygen and not being able to do anything but gasp and fold into yourself. I will apologise tomorrow, but will it be enough? I pull the duvet close and hug sock teddy. I don't want to be alone any more.
YOU ARE READING
Joining the Dots
General Fiction"Life doesn't come gently, it hits you all at once. A tsunami of events." "Anxiety makes being a musician hard. Anxiety makes life hard. My passion, my dreams seem so far away. I could touch it all once, but once is distant now." "I want to be happy...
