depression is a silent killer || √

001. Stigma

My name is Kim Taehyung, and I'm 23 this year.
I always had a sincere smile on my face.

But, was it real?

Am I really happy?

My abusive father would normally beat my sister up really bad.
My mother couldn't take his shit anymore, so she left us.

My grandmother died, too.

While me, I committed a crime and I would never ever forgive myself for it.

I killed my own father, in front of my sister.

[Few years ago]

I dragged along my feet that seemed to be out of energy, standing in front of my old house, in front of the rusty door that I still remember.

I pushed the door and it opened with a 'creak' sound.
Terrified screams and cries were heard, coming from the inside of the house.

Even if I knew what was happening, I still took a look inside.

There it is again, my father brutally abusing my sister.

I completely lost it.

I've been hiding it
I tell you
Just to leave it buried
Now I can't endure it anymore

I took a empty glass bottle, smashed it in half and went up to my father.

I pushed him, stabbed him in the stomach with my broken bottle.

I stabbed him, over and over again, until his grip on me loosened.
He slid down to the ground, breathless.

His lifeless eyes hinted what happened to him.

He's dead.

He stopped breathing.
His heart stopped beating.

I was back to my senses, hearing my sister scream even louder before dashing out of the home, horrified.

I looked at my shaking hands.

It's bloody.

With my father's blood.

I killed him.

With my own hands.

What did I do..?

I ran out of the house, leaving everything there.

I ran and ran, until I spotted a familiar place.

My little place where I run my thoughts peacefully.

My heaven.

I ran into the small corner, standing there for a while before finally realizing what did I do.

I just killed my father, with my own hands.

I sat down in a corner, taking one of the water bottles I hid here and tried to wash the blood off my hands.

Crying, I took out my phone and tried to call Namjoon-hyung.

He didn't pick up the phone.

I left a voicemail.

"H-Hyung.. I killed someone.. What s-should I d-d-do?" I stuttered, crying hysterically.

"You s-said you would p-pick up m-my calls n-no matter w-w-what.. A-Are you tired of m-me too?" I sobbed and sobbed.

"Please.. Please, h-help me hyung, s-save me.."

I left my last sentence as I cut the line.

I sat in a fetus position, crying non-stop.

The sound of my cries echoed in the small place.

[Present time]

I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking at the beautiful scenery before me.

So beautiful.

I smiled.

Looking down at the bottom of the cliff, the blue sea.

It isn't a bad idea to jump down, huh.

I wouldn't regret anything dying in the sea that's so beautiful.
No wonder people liked to jump into the sea, drowning themselves.

A tear slipped from my eye.

I feel my legs giving out as I kneeled down on the ground, crying.

Deeper, deeper, the wound just gets deeper
Like pieces of broken glass I can't reverse
Deeper, it's just the heart that hurts everyday

"AHHHHH!!" I screamed, letting out the feelings I've been bottling up for so long.

Are you calling me a sinner

The image of my sister crying flashed in front of my eyes.

What more do I have to say

Stop crying, tell me something

Try saying to me, who had no courage

"Why did you do that to me then"

"I'm sorry"

"I'm sorry.." I lied down on the ground tiredly, crying my eyes out.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry my sister

Why does my life have to be so damn miserable?

Even if I try to hide it, it can't be erased

Why is it me?

That light, that light, please illuminate my sins

If I die, everything would solve itself right.

Where I can't turn back the red blood is flowing down

I wouldn't feel so depressed right.

Deeper, I feel like dying everyday

I walked towards the very edge of the cliff.

Please let me be punished

"Taehyung-ah!! Don't do it, please," I heard Namjoon-hyung shouting.

Please forgive me for my sins

"Hyung..?" I turned my head back, only to see Namjoon-hyung and Seokjin-hyung's worried faces.

Please

I smiled at them with my infamous rectangular smile.

Namjoon-hyung tried to grab me, but he couldn't.

Because, I'm already falling down.

I heard Namjoon-hyung's scream of agony, his eyes reflecting regret and misery as he watched me fall into the angry waves of the sea, helplessly.

I sank into the deepest part of the sea.

I saw fishes, beautiful and colourful fishes swimming around me.

I smiled, once again.

Slowly, my eyes closed.

I fell into a dreamland I've always yearned for, named "Death."

End.

A/N : lets just update all of this in one go cuz why not
please vote if you enjoyed the story :D