Death Bed Chats

Chapter 9 ~ 1992

Chapter 9 ~ 1992

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me –Elton John

I was at the Farmer's Market in San Francisco something my partner and I tried to do once a week. I couldn't believe my eyes only a few feet away from me I spot Jeannie Craig, more than once in my life she had been my savior.

Memories come rushing back like water busting through the floodgates. The last time we had talked was just after she had been expelled from St. Francis Academy after she had been raped by her Uncle. It was a made up excuse for her expulsion, but Jeannie was tired of fighting and she simply transferred to the public school and graduated.

The school had been so divided after Jeannie had been attacked, however, there were more supporters standing behind her. Jeannie had been adamant that she wouldn't take the Church's blood money, but that summer following graduation changed things.

Jeannie's father had lost his job as a result of the scandal. His boss was a staunch Catholic and a friend of the Bishop's and he wouldn't have her father working for him at all. He managed to get another job and had only been there a month when he noticed that his wife was falling a lot, she was fatigued and suffering from horrible headaches.

When they got the diagnosis it was not good, the cancer was all throughout her body and the doctors offered little hope. Jeannie's Dad came to her and with tears in his eyes he asked the question; would she take the money from the church because he had no health insurance and her mom needed treatment.

Jeannie had never seen her father like this, he was scared and she couldn't deny his request.

Jeannie was once again raped in the court of public opinion. Many called her a sell-out saying she had just waited to get more money from the church. Much to her credit she never told the real reason for taking the money. She turned the entire amount over to her father, she went off to college only to come back for her mother's funeral the following Spring.

Once again, I wasn't a very good friend during this time. I didn't know the reason why she took the money and though I had no right, I was quite judgmental. Who the hell was I to judge? Certainly, with the life I'm living now I tell people all the time not to judge, but many times I feel like a fraud.

Being a fraud is what I was good at, after all, I had been lying my entire life. I went to the University of Miami on a full baseball scholarship and I lied about how much I loved the game. Even my major was a lie, I majored in Business because I knew that's what my father wanted. I was good at baseball and at business, but I could have cared less if I ever played again or if I ever used my business degree. My passion lied within the theatrical arts, set design, and photography.

My cover was blown in my senior year of college by my baseball coach. The drama department production was The Pirates of Penzance and I was in charge of set design. Apparently, he called my father to complain that my time and attention was elsewhere and in what became a very heated argument the truth came out. That day I was disowned by my father, but I finally started living my truth.

I ran towards Jeannie so happy to see her and she was shocked to see me and we hugged for what seemed like an hour. Jonathan, my boyfriend didn't seem to be too happy with our reunion.

Jeannie was gracious as always, she never once berated me for not keeping in touch or treating her like I did. She looked fabulous, she had the confidence of a woman and she was happy. I wanted to stay and talk for hours, Jeannie even invited us to lunch, but Jonathan was having none of it. He was downright rude and sullen. Jeannie told me she was leaving early in the morning but hoped to get together on her next visit.

As we parted, once again I felt like I let her down and I told Jonathan that I was going to lunch with her. Jonathan had a total meltdown, like a two-year-old and somehow I found the courage to leave him to his meltdown as I ran to catch up with Jeannie.

Jeannie looked shocked as I ran to her and grabbed her hand, before she could say anything I said, "let's go to lunch".