New Beginnings

Missing Half

Phil's POV

"Phil, I-I don't know if this i-is going to be our g-goodbye and I sure as hell hope it isn't. B-But, if it is... I have to s-say my goodbye's n-now before I lose the chance." 
"I-I give you this one thought to keep--I am still with you--I do not sleep. You are a thousand winds that blow, you are the diamond glints on snow and you are the sunlight to my darkness." 
"You are the soft stars that shine in the night. I-I will n-never b-believe that you're g-gone P-Phil." 
"I cherish every moment and every person in my life. B-But I cherish you the most. And I-I think I cherish people lots because...I never know...when it'll be the last time I get to see or tell you how much I love you..." 
"I-I...I love you Philly" 

Somehow, someway that was my trigger. I had, had enough, I started believing that somehow I would see and be able to hold Dan again. Suddenly, I was back in my body, yes but I couldn't open my eyes or use my voice. I felt Dan's warmth leave my side as a small kiss was planted on my head. NO. I needed to wake up. My eyes flickered open and Dan's silhouette was in the doorway.  "D-Dan...?" I think he heard me because he just stood there for a few moments probably adjusting to the fact that I'm here again. He slowly and carefully turned to face me, his beautiful brown eyes widened in shock. Instinctually I found my hand reaching out for his. Wasting no time he ran towards me and wrapped his arms around my chest, molding his frame with mine. His salty tears dampening my shirt as he sobbed, my tears soaking his shoulder and my hands cupping his head. 

"I-I...Y-You w-were-" I quickly, cut him off by pulling him into a kiss,

 "I know...I saw...I heard everything..."  He smiled but I could tell he was both confused and overly happy to see me. 

He sighed, "Then I guess you heard all that sappy stuff I said yeah?" I laughed as I smiled at him, "Joy..." he smirked as I lifted his chin and kissed him. "I-I missed you, Philly" 

"I missed you too Danny" He smiled as I pulled him close. He must've sensed something was wrong because he soon pulled away and sat up to face me.

"Phil? What's wrong? What else happened? Well besides you almost dying and all...?" concern was flooding his voice as I sighed and looked away from his glance, his fingers trailed to my chin and slowly directed my glance back to meet his. "Don't act like nothing is wrong, okay? Please, Phil...You know you can be honest with me..."

I wasn't sure he was ready for what I experienced from the fire to now but, also knew I couldn't keep secrets from him. Sighing as I took his hand and looked up into his eyes, "You're right. But if I-I tell you, you have to promise not to think that I'm weird, okay?" he nodded, "Dan I didn't wake up...in my body... Like I, yes, did awake but I was standing up looking at my body instead of yeah know waking up in it." he seemed puzzled but he stayed quiet. "Dan I tried-I tried so hard to get back into my body to be there for you when you woke up but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't do it..." I felt a small lump in my throat as he nodded for me to continue, "All I could do was watch. I was no help at all. I-I was helpless when your heart stopped." his expression suddenly changed, as if the doctors hadn't told him this news.

"M-My h-heart...s-stopped...?" His voice was shaky and breaking as I nodded. His eyes left mine but came back a moment later, "Continue, we'll talk about that part later"

I nodded, "W-well, when your heart stopped... I was running around the hospital screaming for someone to help you but no one could see or hear me. Eventually, they did hear ur monitor beeping and you were fine but, if you had died... All I could've done was watched and screamed..." his hands squeezed mine, "I watched and listened to every conversation you had with everyone who came to visit. I never left your side. I tried so many times to hold your hand and kiss you but I-I couldn't. Helplessly, watched as you help my lifeless hand day and night and telling me that you love me." 

"Then how did you get out of, you know the spiritual version of things?" his thumb trailing across my hands and staring into my eyes.

"Last night, a nurse came in to check on us and I was sitting by you when she started talking to my body." he smiled through his laugh, "Weird right? You don't know that half of it. She then started to tell me that I needed to, 'push' myself back into reality and 'give it' my all. And in some ways, her advice brought me back." I felt a smile form on my face.