Hearts ✓

Thirty 💕

He isn't different.

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The next day passed by in a blur, waking up to Taylor and my parents fighting over her grades, to salvaging myself through the magical creation of coffee, to school and all the seemingly unbearable stares, to walking out of school as soon as the bell rang.

None of my friends seemed to be able to support me a day before the month ended, everyone seemed to be busy somehow Elliot had to prepare for an important family dinner, Aubrey's brother was back in town and since he was only staying for two days, they were going to spend all of it, besides school together. Ally was already abroad, with a short trip to visit her grandma who was in critical condition and Lauren, well, she was stuck in four hours in detention because apparently, that's what you get when you leave your homework at home.

Jake rushes beside me, "How are my flowers doing?"

"They're dead." I laugh. "Just kidding, they're alive and breathing."

Suddenly, we find ourselves back in the patch we were at yesterday, except this time, there is a gardener who glares at us for stepping onto the grass. "Jake, you had better not planned to drench me, again."

"Not today, Sunset."

"Oh. My. God." I groan. "That nickname still exists."

"I thought it was beautifully crafted." He pretends to look offended.

"I bet you just searched it on the internet."

"Took me two hours, Sunset."

"You're so creative." I laugh. "Searching Google and all."

"I used Microsoft Firefox." He contorts his face as if he was actually insulted. "Don't undermine Microsoft."

"Okay then."

"I can't believe all of this started with a-" He abruptly covers his mouth, cutting himself off from saying what we all love and know, the dare.

My blood turns cold and I freeze. "Callie?"

I can't help it, the tears begin streaming down my face because I can't help it, I've tried to avoid the reality for so long it decides to hit me in the face like Jake splashing water at me, it's taken that to realize that this isn't real, it was for me, but probably not him.

"You know what, Jake? I already knew that this was part of the dare, I already knew." My voice is weak, trembling and redundant, but I continue talking anyway. "But here was the thing, just like everyone, I fell in love, you were sweet, charming, you brightened up my day, and I ended up looking forward to the part of the day where you would bug the hell out of me, but it's all a facade isn't it?"

Jake is staring at me now, silent. I take this as a queue to continue.

"I always told myself, never fall in love with a boy from Narven High, and when I did, I just-just thought that maybe, just maybe, you would feel the same, maybe you'd save me the heartbreak. But I'm naive, I've known that." My throat is getting croaky as I try to hold back the tears from falling. "But you know what Jake? You're just like any other player in the whole damn world, and I'll never stop loving you because that's just how it works, you and your friends, you know it's a dare, yes, but you never get to see how broken you make us feel. You never feel what its' like to be afraid, lost, and the one person that makes you smile breaks you. We're not worthless, Jake. I'm not worthless."

I'm speaking about Lauren now, I watched her crumble, but she's back and has an iron shield. I take a moment to laugh at myself, by now, Jake was staring at me, mouth agape, but I didn't care, right now, nothing could really make me care.

"Callie-"

"No, Jake. No." I put a hand through my hair. "I'll love you until I find someone else to replace the crack you tore with your bare hands in my heart, but until then, it's going to suck for me. So, when you break my heart tomorrow and cause a huge scene so that you can show all your friends that you're deemed worthy because you broke my heart. Break it with no regret."

Jake looks like he wants to say something, except the monologue that I had crafted on the spot out of passion and emotion once again overpowered him.

"Because we all know, we all know, that you are a coward. You all are cowards. If your worthiness is measured by this, then you're all certified wimps." My monologue is nearly at its' end. "I love you Jake, but I've accepted that it doesn't work both ways. My heart is at your mercy, it's yours to break." and just like that, I saunter off, Jake is shouting my name but I'm speeding at fifty miles per hour through tears, and he's just running like a regular human being.

As soon as I'm in my room, I break down, tomorrow was going to hurt so much, but it's better to be prepared for it, than not.

I was just really hoping that Jake was different.

He isn't different, and he isn't worth it.