Seeing Me, Seeing You [COMPLETED]

~Chapter 17~

"Keri, why don't you go home?" My mom asked me as I vacuumed the carpet in the shop.

I had immersed myself on a week-long cleaning binge to try and get Trevor off of my mind. In between customers, I polished the display cases, dusted off every guitar, and alphabetized the sheet music rack. Once I was finished with that, I found myself sulking in my sadness, so I grabbed the vacuum.

"The carpet looks clean enough. You are gonna burn yourself out doing all of this work," my mother continued to harp at me.

"I need to keep myself busy," I said to her over the loud hum of the vacuum, "It's the only way I can keep myself from crying."

Then the loud hum of the vacuum idled down to nothing and my mother stood there holding the plug in her hands. "I'm sending you home. I know that you are my daughter, but you are also my employee. You can't be doing this to yourself, sweetie. It's not healthy."

I hung my head down to the floor. What was I doing to myself? The truth was that I didn't know how to cope.

"I spent weeks caring for him in the hospital, Mom! Weeks! Didn't he realize that I did that out of love? I would have done anything for him... But he doesn't want me."

She stood there with her arms crossed and shook her head at me. "That's right! He doesn't want you!"

My head snapped up and my face was overtaken by a puzzled look. How dare she say something like that to me after I just went through my first breakup!

"I know that you have a huge heart, Keri. I know that because your father, as stubborn as he is, has a huge heart. But you are not his mother. He has a lot going on with his life right now. Put yourself in his shoes. He was already blind. Then he got a terrible illness and lost his hearing. Did you ever stop to think that maybe having a girlfriend is just too much for him right now?"

I let out a deep sigh.

"I... I just thought that maybe we could get through this hurdle together," I cried, "I thought that together we could get through any battle that was thrown at us."

"My sweet Keri, you have a lot to learn about love. Did I ever tell you the story of that one time when I dated Angelo De Luca?"

"That old drunk who lives down the street from us?" I asked.

"Yes, him. Old Angelo used to be gorgeous back in the day," she smirked, "I blame the war for ruining his good looks. He left for Vietnam with perfect pitch black hair. When he came back, it was totally grey."

Old Angelo was a creepy old man with a long grey beard and tattered clothing. He would talk to himself as he would walk down the street holding his liquor bottle in a brown paper bag. As children, my siblings and I would hide when he would come out for his morning walk- or more like morning stumble. I had no idea that my mother had dated him.

"Why did you and Angelo break up?" I asked her.

"The war heavily affected his psyche. He developed PTSD from the experience. He would spend days at a time in bed and it was hard to get him out of the house to do anything. I tried so hard to make him smile. He wouldn't so much as grin at me. I did everything in my power to try and get him to go back to his old self, but he had changed. It didn't help that he refused to get professional help for his post-war problems. I had thought that because we stayed together during the war that we could get through his mental illness, too, but I was so wrong. He didn't want me. Then he got violent towards me. So I finally said 'enough is enough' and I had to leave him even though I loved him. Gosh, it was so hard to leave... It was the most difficult thing that I had ever done. Those were some hard times. But then I met your father- and it changed the entire course of my life for the better."

I had no idea that my mother had gone through what she did. It was shocking to me.

"So what do you suggest that I do? Wait around and wallow until I find Mr. Right?"

"What I'm trying to say is that no matter how much you try and help somebody, sometimes they don't want to be helped. So ya move on. You keep living your life. And obsessively cleaning the shop isn't living life. Go explore the city! Go paint something! Live for yourself, not somebody else. Give me the vacuum and get outta here."

I loosened my grip on the vacuum and gave it to her.

"Thanks, Mom," I said to her, giving her a hug.

"You bet, Baby Doll. You'll be okay."

Stepping outside of the shop, I knew exactly what I was going to do with the rest of my time.

It was time to call Sandra, my hair stylist.

~*~

"Come on over and have a seat, love," Sandra motioned to her hair station.

I took a seat and flung my pink hair out of its ponytail.

"So what are we doing today?" She asked me as she ran her fingers through my hair, "Root touch-up?"

"Nope. I want to get rid of the pink," I told her, "I want all of it gone."

Sandra looked at me funny and stopped playing with my hair.

"Are you serious?! Do you know how long I have waited to color your hair something other than pink?! Oh my gosh! What color did you want me to dye your hair?"

I smiled. "Surprise me."