6 Hours ( A Nash Grier Fan-Fic / Features All Magcon Boys)

Chapter 20: Rules of Depression

     I finally looked up at him.  He looked like he was trying to smile along with my sarcastic laugh, but couldn't. He shook his head no. I guess it was his way of feeling sorry, or his way of not knowing what to say. His eyes looked like it almost watering for the third time today. The water locked in his eyes made his eyes look like it was made out of glass. It looked fragile and breakable. Maybe he was disappointed by my story. Maybe he expected something easier to take in. A story easier to accept. But I didn't want to sugar coat or lie to him anymore. I guess "The truth hurts" aren't just some corny words you would see written on a Tumblr post. 

     "So anyway," I continued. "After we snuck out, Alana took me to the apartment where her boyfriend and she lived. Her boyfriend's name was Alex. He was older than Alana by 6 years; he was 24. He had a really job, and he was making a lot of money. Soon Alana got a job as well. Everything was going back to normal. I started to do make a few friends in school, started making good grades, we had more than enough money... We lived as perfect as that for the next two years. It was perfect," I smiled. "It was Alex's friend's 28th birthday. Alana and Alex left me home the night of the party. Alana promised to be back by midnight."

     Nash's phone lit up and vibrated. He looked down, "It's Cam calling." He hung up,"Keep going," he said.

     "I'm sorry, I totally forgot that you're in a hurry. I'll make it faster," I apologized. "So I called her to see if she's staying out later than what she said, but she didn't pick up. Then I called Alex, but I couldn't reach him either. Later I got a call from Alex and he tried to convince me that they got hit by a drunk driver. He tried to convince me that the crash was fatal for my sister. I didn't believe him. I thought it was a sick joke. I screamed at him through the the phone. I cried out my eyes. I couldn't believe him until I saw my sister's body in the hospital bed; completely lifeless. I hated everything. I hated everyone. I hated my life. I hated life for getting my hopes high, for making me think everything's getting back to normal, and then fucking me up right when I started to be happy," I felt my eyes leaking, and my nose stuffing up, and my throat drying more and more with every word. But I decided to finish the story. The story of my miserable, hideous life.

      "I had no one left for me in the world, except for Alex. About a year after Alana passed away, Alex started dating someone else. Soon he decided that she would move in with us. Alex had no reason  to deal with me anymore. Who was I? I was his ex girlfriend's (who passed away) little sister. He wasn't responsible for me, but he kept me until his new girlfriend came in. She didn't like me. Not one bit," I laughed. "Alex tried to let her accept me. He tried to 'keep' me. But she said 'Me or her.' I felt like an unwanted dog. I talked to Alex that night and told him that the last thing I want to do is ruin someone else's life. I told him he deserves a brighter future, and if it means me going, then I should go. That's all it took. So the plan was that he would still financially take care of me, since he did have more than enough money to do so, but I would live in a hotel closer to their house, instead of with them and he would come to check on me every weekend. And that's the plan that we've been following for almost a year now. I guess the plan is my life, until I graduate highschool," I finished and took a deep breath before I looked up to see his face.

     "That is fucked up!" he exclaimed. "How are you okay with this?"

     His sudden reaction kind of bothered me, but at least he understood. "Nash, I'm a sixteen year old who lives in a hotel room all by her self, and has no company or any structure to her life what so ever. Of course I'm not okay with it, but this is my life now and there's no other way. Okay? And being alone like this for this long makes you feel like you're trapped inside yourself. You have no one to talk to so the voices only remain in your head, and they eventually try to take over. They don't let you sleep at night. It makes you feel irrelevant. It has a way of making you feel dead!" I felt like my voice got louder as I started to get more specific about my feelings, so I tried to catch my breath and calm down. He didn't say anything, he just listened. "So yeah, on the bright side, I had a lot of spare time, and the way I chose to spend it was by watching your Vines and YouTube videos. Not just yours, but you were one my favorites," I smiled and he softly smiled back. "And when I met you, I don't know... it just made me really happy. There's no other way to put it. You made the happiest person on the world, and I would've never believed that, that was a position possible for me to take. Because not only were you "Nash Grier", but you were a person, a person who talked to me; which unfortunately doesn't happen enough," I laughed. I don't know, just fell in love with the feeling of sharing dreams and thoughts and laughing and smiling effortlessly. I fell in love with being around you and I didn't want it to end. Even when we were going through shit this morning, I still had that feeling of happiness inside of me. It was refreshing to fight a battle with a team and not all by myself. And after you leave tonight, you're gonna take all of this with you. As dramatic as it sounds, you're gonna take my happiness with you. But I'm so thankful for everything that happened. Thank you so much Nash." We were starting right at each other. Both of our visions seemed blurry from the tears we were still holding back. He took a quick look at my lips and leaned in fast. He held my face with both hands as we went in for a long kiss.