when i returned to my dorm, it was empty.
olivia and maci were long gone, which made me feel even worse than i already did. after the entire day went so badly, i desperately wanted to talk to them.
unfortunately, i couldn't find any more alcohol in maci's emergency stash, so i decided to order a pizza.
before i could open up my laptop, to watch netflix, i was distracted by a fit of loud knocking on the door.
"if you're not the fucking pizza delivery person, then go. the fuck. away." i hissed.
the knocking continued, without any answer, which irritated me.
"i said–" i got up, and made my way over to the door, before yanking it open.
the worst mistake i made that night, was opening the damn door. i came face to face with ethan, of all people.
he was wearing a white t-shirt, and oversized sweats, that hung low on his hips.
i took a deep breath, and bit my lip. ethan looked so fucking good, which made me even angrier at him than i already was. "what the fuck do you want, ethan?"
ethan grinned, and let himself in. "i wanna talk, brie."
"why should i listen to anything you have to say?" i slammed the door, and turned around.
he took a seat on my bed, and motioned for me to come over. "i realized something, okay? just come talk to me."
"get out of my room," i groaned loudly, and rolled my eyes. "i already have plans, and none of them involve you."
ethan gave me a smug smile . "oh really? you're by yourself, ordering pizza and watching netflix. you could definitely use some company, in my opinion."
i gave him a blank stare. "fuck you."
he motioned for me to come over once again, and i decided to give in. i joined him on my bed, leaving a good amount of space between us.
"i feel really bad about what happened earlier," he confessed. "my mind is really messed up right now."
i avoided his stare, and brought my knees to my chest. "why do you keep hurting me? what the fuck did i ever do to you?"
"you didn't do anything, breanna, that's why i feel so awful." ethan rubbed the back of his neck. "you're everything i could possibly want, and more."
now, he was messing with my mind. i didn't know if i could really trust him, or not.
he sighed in defeat, and put his head in his hands.
"jesus christ, don't do that. let's get in bed, please?" i peeled back the comforter, and crawled in.
ethan nodded softly, and joined me in my bed.
i rested my weight on my elbow, and turned to face him. "you're fucking unbelievable, you know that?"
"yeah, that's not the first time i've heard that," he rolled his eyes playfully. "um, i'm sorry for making your life so much harder than it already is."
i couldn't hold it in any longer. "ethan? i know what's going on."
he stood still, and didn't speak.
"i know what you meant when you said that your mind is a mess. it's okay," i whispered.
ethan exhaled deeply. "i hope you know that i'm not doing this on purpose. i always ruin things, no matter what."
he didn't even give me a chance to speak.
"i don't even wanna be with ashley. i'm so sorry for making you feel this way–"
i reached over, loosely clutched the collar of his t-shirt. "shh, it's okay."
ethan looked up at me, gave me a smile. "are you gonna kiss me?"
"oh, absolutely not. i know how you are, if we kiss, it will lead to something else," i groaned.
he shrugged, nodded slightly. "i mean, yeah. there's just so much tension between us."
"okay, now leave. i need some time to think." i blinked a few times, sighed. "please."
ethan hesitated at first, then hurried out of the room.
as soon as he left, i couldn't help but wonder if i had made a big mistake.
a/n: it took me so long to write this, for some reason. i'm sorry!!
